A Fractured Fairytale
by Erin T. Aardvark
Summary: ON HIATUS Winsome Witch baby-sits the Impossibles' younger siblings while they're out on a mission, and tells them the story of "Cinderella," but with a new twist.
1. Prologue

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: A little homage to the "Fractured Fairytales" from "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle," this time with a Hanna-Barbera twist. All characters in this fanfic belong to Hanna-Barbera; Witch Hazel belongs to Warner Brothers; all other characters belong to me._

* * *

It was a normal Saturday morning, and the Impossibles were doing what Coil Man and Multi Man hated doing more than anything else in the world. Baby-sitting their younger siblings.

"I can't believe your parents had to go out the same time mine did," Coiley sighed.

"I know," Multi said. "But there's nothing we can do about it."

"I don't like it much, either," Coiley's ten-year-old sister, Courtney, said. "I'm too old to be baby-sat!"

"I too old, too!" Multi's three-year-old half-brother, Adam, shouted.

"You are not," Multi said, picking up his brother and sitting him on his lap.

"It could be a lot worse, fellas," Fluid Man said, tuning his guitar. "Big D could call in with an assignment for us."

The minute Fluey had said that, Coiley's guitar began beeping. The boys knew all too well what _that_ meant.

"Me and my big mouth," Fluey sighed.

"Impossibles here," Coiley said, activating the TV screen in his guitar. "What's the trouble, Big D?"

"The Megatropolis Mob are committing several crimes downtown," Big D said. "I need you boys to get down there and stop them."

"Uhhh . . . ." Coiley started. "I wouldn't normally ask this, chief, but . . . . can't you get someone else to handle this one? See, Multi and I are baby-sitting, and we can't just up and leave Courtney and Adam by themselves."

"No problem, Coiley," Fluey said. "I'm sure I can handle that street gang."

"Not by yourself, you can't," Coiley said. "The Megatropolis Mob is huge! It's too much for any of us alone!"

"Well, what if you and Multi go, and I stay here with the kids?" Fluey suggested.

"I don't think so," Coiley said. "It might take all three of us to handle the Megatropolis Mob."

"And we certainly can't take Courtney and Adam with us," Multi said. "My parents will _kill_ me if they find out I took Adam on a mission!"

"Same here," Coiley said. "Wait a minute, I have an idea! We'll call the girls."

"No good," Fluey said. "Dani's on a weekend trip with her Witch Patrol troop, or something, and FG's visiting her grandmother."

"And Shawn's visiting her mother in Glitter City," Multi said. "And my sister's out with her friends."

"So's Phyllis," Fluey said. Then he snapped his fingers. "Wait! I've got it! Dani's Aunt Winnie! I'm positive she'll baby-sit the kids while we take care of this! You guys take the kids to her place, and I'll get started on taking care of the mob."

"Great idea, Fluey!" Multi shouted.

"Yeah, let's get to it!" Coiley shouted.

"Rally ho!" the boys cried out in unison.

Moments later, Coiley and Multi were in the Impossi-Jet, with Courtney and Adam. Courtney wasn't happy with the turn of events.

"This isn't fair!" she whined. "Why can't we go with you guys? I'll stay in the Impossi-Jet and keep an eye on Adam!"

"Sorry, Court," Coiley said. "But Mom and Dad are gonna kill me if she found out we took you with us on a mission, you know that!"

"Yeah, and my dad's likely to blow a gasket and _then_ some!" Multi shouted, landing the Impossi-Jet in front of a small cottage in the woods. Then he jumped out, picked up his baby brother, and walked toward the door. Coiley and Courtney followed.

"I hope Winnie's home," Coiley said, as Multi knocked on the door. A few moments later, their friend, Winsome Witch, appeared at the door.

"Well, if it isn't Coil Man and Multi Man!" she shouted. "Glad to see you boys! Come on in for a spell!"

"We can't now, Winnie," Multi said. "We need to ask you a _really_ big favor."

"Oh, anything at all, boys," Winnie said. "What's the matter?"

"The three of us got called in on a mission while we were watching my brother and Coiley's sister," Multi continued. "Our parents aren't going to be home for awhile, we couldn't get in touch with Shawn, FG, or Danalleah, or my sister, or Fluey's sister, and we certainly can't take them on the mission with us."

"Not unless we want our parents to kill us," Coiley said.

"So we were wondering if you'd watch them until we got done with this mission of ours," Multi said.

"Oh, of course, boys, of course!" Winnie shouted. "I certainly can't blame you for not wanting to take children on one of your missions!"

"Thanks, Winnie!" Coiley shouted. "You're a life saver!"

"We'll be back as soon as we can," Multi said. "We really appreciate this, Winnie!"

"Maaawwwwk!" Adam whined. "No go!"

"I have to, Adam," Multi said, trying to reason with his brother. "But don't worry, you're gonna spend the afternoon with Aunt Winnie."

"Come on, Multi, we'd better go," Coiley said. "Fluey may not be able to hold off the Megatropolis Mob by himself for long."

"Don't worry about a thing, boys!" Winnie called as Coiley and Multi ran to the Impossi-Jet, and took off. They were going to change to superhero mode on the way.

"I'll take good care of them!" Winnie called again, as the Impossi-Jet zoomed off into the distance. The minute it was out of sight, Adam's lower lip began quivering, and he let out a scream, and began wailing like a fire engine.

"Oh dear . . . ." Winnie said, nervously.

"Multi says he always does that," Courtney said. "His family has an awful time with baby-sitters. But usually he'll calm down if the baby-sitter tells him a story."

"A story, eh?" Winnie asked. "All right, then. I know a great one! It's all about a girl named Cinderella!"

"Aw, I've heard that one a billion times," Courtney complained.

"Not like this, you haven't!" Winnie said, with a laugh. "Come on."

Courtney shrugged, took Adam by the hand, walked inside Winnie's cottage, and climbed up onto her couch. Then she helped Adam up on it. Then Winnie sat down herself, and got comfortable.

"Now then," she began. "Once upon a time . . . . . ."


	2. Once Upon a Time

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: since most of the HB characters and my OC's are playing different parts in this fractured fairy tale, I will be making note of it in parentheses when they're introduced. If there aren't any parentheses next to the characters, that means they were either created especially for this story, or blatantly obvious. Thanks._

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Cinderella (_my OC, Danalleah Critch_). She lived in a house with her stepmother and stepsisters. And were her stepsisters ever ugly! One was named Fatima, and she was short and fat. The other was named Leena, and she was tall and skinny. If that wasn't bad enough, they treated Cinderella like dirt.

"Cinderella!" Leena yelled. "Iron my sheets!"

"Cinderella!" Fatima yelled. "Fix me my lunch!"

"Cinderella!" the stepmother yelled. "Do the laundry, wash the windows, do the mending, do the sewing, shine my shoes, mop the floor, vacuum the carpets, do the dishes, take out the trash, feed the chickens, feed the dog, and wax the car!"

"Yes, stepmother," Cinderella said.

"And I have a list of _more_ chores you can do after lunch!"

This was the way it was for Cinderella, day in, and day out. But at least she didn't have to do all that work alone. She had friends who helped her with her chores. They were two little mice named Pixie and Dixie.

"Here's the soap, Cinderella!" Dixie shouted, as he and Pixie threw a large bar of soap into a bucket of water.

"Thanks, guys," Cinderella said. Then she began mopping the floor.

"I'd like to show those big bullies!" Pixie shouted. "It's not fair that they make you do all the work while they sit around doing nothing!"

"I know," Cinderella said. "And they can laugh it up all the want. But someday, I'm going to meet someone who will take me away from all of this."

"Yeah," Dixie said, with a laugh. "Then we'll see who gets the last laugh!"

Pixie, and Dixie laughed, while Cinderella just continued mopping the floor.

Elsewhere in the kingdom, there lived the King (_the King from "Yippee, Yappee, and Yahooey"_), in his castle on a hill. He was in his throne room pacing, with the Grand Duke (_my OC, Mike Rogers_) watching him.

"What am I going to do, Duke?" the King asked. "I've got to get my son out of this palace! He's driving me out of my mind!"

"Well, if I may make one suggestion, sire," the Duke said.

"What's that?"

"Wouldja stop pacin' around like that? You're makin' me dizzy! Besides, you're wearin' a hole in the floor!"

"Oh, I am not!"

The Duke cleared his throat, and pointed down to the floor. The King looked down, and noticed that the Duke was right. He _was_ wearing a hole in the floor from all his pacing.

"Oh . . . . never mind!" the King shouted, jumping out of his hole. "Help me figure out a way to . . . . ."

Before the King could continue, an extremely loud blast of guitar music suddenly filled the castle, and knocked both the King and the Duke off their feet. Immediately, they knew what it was.

"There he goes again," the King groaned. "Who's the knucklehead who let him have guitar lessons, anyway?!"

"You, sire," the Duke said, calmly.

"_Me_?!"

"Yeah. You wanted him to have archery lessons, but he whined, screamed, carried on, and pitched a fit about guitar lessons until you finally let him have them so he'd shut up."

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, come on!"

The King went down the hall and up a flight of stairs until he reached a door, and then they opened it. The music became louder once the door was open, and the King nearly tumbled down the stairs. Inside the room was the King's son, Prince Charming (_Fluid Man_), sitting on his bed, wearing a pair of sunglasses, and playing an electric guitar, plugged in to an amplifier, tuned to the highest volume imaginable. The King walked into the room against the music, and pulled the plug out of the amplifier. Prince Charming removed his sunglasses, and looked over at his father.

"Hey, what'd you do that for?" he asked.

"The neighbors were starting to complain," the King said. "Son, I think it's time that you and I had a heart to heart talk."

"This isn't gonna be the birds and the bees bit again, is it?"

"Son, don't you think you spend too much time indoors?"

"No, not really."

"Don't you think you ought to go out with your friends?"

"Dad, I don't _have_ any friends."

"Don't you want to go out, and meet some nice girl, get married, and live happily ever after in a kingdom of your own?"

"Dad, I'm only sixteen! Hey, what's with the bum's rush on getting me out of here, anyway?"

"Well, let me put it to you this way, son . . . . ."

The King then took a deep breath, and shouted at the top of his lungs,

"YOU'RE A FREELOADER!"

"Like I said, Pop, I'm only sixteen," Prince Charming said, shrugging. "Don't you think that's a little young to get married?"

"Nonsense!" the King shouted. "Why, when I was your age, I was planning to get married to your mother! Besides, this is a fairy tale! Kids are always getting married when they're sixteen in fairy tales! Look at _Sleeping Beauty_! Why don't you start thinking seriously about getting married?"

"You don't know what you're asking, Dad. Have you seen all the goons that live around here?"

"Yes . . . . I see your point. But there has to be at least _one_ girl in the kingdom who isn't . . . . . you know . . . . homely."

"Yeah. Good luck finding her. I'm going back to my music."

And with that, Prince Charming plugged his guitar back into his amplifier (though he turned the volume down first). The King sighed, and went back to the throne room. The Duke was standing there, waiting for him.

"Well, how'd it go?" he asked.

"Nowhere," the King said. "The boy is just being too darned stubborn! We _have_ to get that boy married, so he'll move out of the castle, but the question is how! All of the girls around are . . . . yecchhh! Homely, and we _can't_ let him marry a girl like that! Think of what it will do to my image!"

"Yeah . . . . . sure," the Duke said, choosing his words carefully, considering the King was about as homely as they come. "Right, your majesty, whatever you say."

"I need an idea," the King said, and he began pacing in his hole again.

"Well," the Duke said, shrugging. "We could always throw a royal ball and invite the entire kingdom. That way, we're sure to find a girl that isn't . . . . you know . . . . homely."

"An excellent idea! I'm glad I thought of it! Now, send for the Goofy Guards, immediately."

"Right away, your majesty!"

And with that, the Duke ran to the window and leaned out of it.

"Send for the Goofy Guards!" he called out.

"Send for the Goofy Guards!" a sentry called out.

"Send for the Goofy Guards!" another sentry shouted.

The Goofy Guards (known as Yippee, Yappee, and Yahooey) were having their lunch, when they heard the sentries calling for them.

"The king is sending for us, men!" Yippee shouted. "Let's go! Yippee!"

"Yappee!" Yappee shouted.

"Yahoo-ee-ee-ey!" Yahooey shouted, and the three of them ran for the throne room. They reached it in record time, but wound up coming through the wall.

CRASH!

"Nice entrance, fellas," the Duke said, sarcastically. "But maybe next time, you could use the door?"

"Now hear this, Goofy Guards!" the King shouted. "We're going to have a royal ball here tonight, and I want you three to spread the word. Invite every eligible girl in the kingdom!"

"Right away your majesty!" Yippee shouted, saluting. "Yippee!"

"Yappee!" Yappee shouted.

"Yahoo-ee-ee-ey!" Yahooey shouted. And, like their entrance, they exited right through the wall. The King groaned, and slapped his hand over his eyes.

"_Why_ did I ever hire _them_ in the first place?" he asked.

"They work cheap," the Duke replied.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," the King said.


	3. The Royal Ball

Meanwhile, Cinderella, Pixie, and Dixie were hard at work, doing the chores Cinderella was assigned to. As they were busy watering the houseplants, the doorbell rang.

"I wonder who that could be," Cinderella said, as she walked to the door. When she opened it, she found Yahooey on the doorstep with a scroll in his hand.

"Hear ye, hear ye!" he shouted. "An urgent message from his royal majesty, the King!"

"Cinderella!" the Stepmother shouted, as she, Fatima, and Leena came down the stairs. "Who's at the door?"

"A messenger from the King, Stepmother," Cinderella said.

"The King!" both Fatima and Leena cried. They raced down the stairs, and shoved Cinderella out of their way to hear the message.

"Tonight, his majesty the King is holding a royal ball, in the honor of his royal son, Prince Charming," Yahooey read. "And every unmarried girl in the kingdom is to attend, so that his highness, Prince Charming, may choose a bride."

Upon hearing that, Leena and Fatima squealed in delight.

"That is all," Yahooey said, handing the scroll to the Stepmother, and then he promptly left.

"What a wonderful opportunity!" the Stepmother shouted. "If one of you two marries the prince, that would make me a queen-in-law! Come on, girls! We've got a _lot_ to do before the ball!"

"Stepmother," Cinderella said, somewhat timidly. "Do you think that maybe . . . . ."

"What is it, Cinderella?" the Stepmother asked, sounding annoyed.

"Well, I was wondering," Cinderella continued. "Can I go to the royal ball?"

"_Whaaaaaaat_?!" the Stepmother shrieked. "_You_?! Go to the royal ball?! _You_?! You'll do nothing of the kind!"

"Yeah," Fatima said. "You've to help _us_ get ready for the royal ball!"

"Besides," Leena said, "the prince would _never_ marry a scullery maid!"

And with that, the two stepsisters went up the stairs, laughing at Cinderella. The Stepmother followed them, but before she left, she turned to Cinderella.

"Now you get back to your chores!" she shouted. Then she walked into a room, and slammed the door.

"Hmph," Pixie grumbled. "How do you like that? You're just as eligible as _they_ are!"

"And you're a lot prettier, too!" Dixie shouted.

"Thanks, guys," Cinderella said, and she and the mice went back to the chores.

Later that evening, Cinderella was helping her stepsisters get ready for the ball. And it wasn't easy, since Cinderella had the job of tightening Fatima's corset.

"Can't you go any faster, Cinderella?" Fatima asked. "We'll be late for the ball!"

"I'm . . . . . going . . . . as fast as . . . . . I can!" Cinderella shouted, straining as she pulled the corset as tight as she possibly could. Finally, she managed to tie the corset. Once she did, she fell to the floor, breathless.

"Well, don't just sit there!" Fatima demanded. "Get my dress!"

Cinderella managed to pull herself up, and she got Fatima's dress. After Fatima and Leena were all dressed up, they, along with the Stepmother, left for the ball. Cinderella, Pixie, and Dixie sat at the window, and watched them leave.

"That's gratitude for you," Pixie said.

"Yeah," Dixie replied. "I hope Fatima's girdle has a blow out!"

"That's not gonna help Cinderella get to the ball, Dixie," Pixie pointed out.

"I know, Pixie," Dixie said, shrugging. "But a mouse can dream, can't he?"

"I wish I could go to the ball and meet the prince," Cinderella sighed. "But I don't see any way I can do that."

"Me neither," Pixie said.

"Me neither," Dixie said.

Suddenly, Cinderella and the two mice heard something outside. It sounded like something was falling out of the sky. They ran out to the front porch to investigate.

"Look! In the sky!" Cinderella shouted.

"It's a bird!" Pixie shouted.

"It's a plane!" Dixie shouted.

"No, it's . . . . ." the mice said in unison.

Before they could answer, whatever it was in the sky came crashing down to the ground. It looked like it was a witch riding a broomstick. As a matter of fact, she looked a great deal like Winsome Witch.

"Hi, everybody!" she shouted. "I hope I'm in time!"

"In time for what?" Cinderella asked, confused.

"In time to get you ready for the royal ball!" the witch shouted, jumping to her feet. "I'm your Fairy Godmother!"

"Fairy Godmother?" Cinderella asked. "You look more like a witch to me."

"I know, but there's a Fairy Godmother shortage, so the agency sent me. Now then, shall we get started? First, I'm going to need a large pumpkin, a horse, a dog, and a couple of mice."

"We're mice," Dixie said, tugging on the Fairy Godmother's skirt.

"Oh, you two will do quite nicely," the Fairy Godmother said.

"But what do you need a pumpkin, a horse, and a dog for?" Cinderella asked.

"You'll see," the Fairy Godmother said.

Cinderella and the mice shrugged, and went off to fetch the items the Fairy Godmother had asked for. Shortly, Cinderella returned with the family dog and horse, while Pixie and Dixie brought in the pumpkin.

"Here's everything," Cinderella said.

"Good, good," the Fairy Godmother replied. "Now for the magic words. Ippity-pippity-_pow_!"

With a wave of the Fairy Godmother's magic wand (and a "Jet Screamer" music cue), the pumpkin was transformed into a coach, the horse was transformed into a coachman, the dog was transformed into a footman, and Pixie and Dixie were transformed into horses.

"There, that will do quite nicely," she said. Then she turned to Cinderella. "Now, only one thing left to do. Ippity-pippity-_pow_!"

One "Jet Screamer" music cue later, Cinderella's rags had turned into a dark magenta ball gown, which included glass slippers.

"Oh, Fairy Godmother!" Cinderella shouted. "It's so beautiful!"

"You'd better be going now," the Fairy Godmother said. "Just remember to be back here before the stroke of twelve, or else everything goes back to the way it was."

"All right," Cinderella said. "Thank you, Fairy Godmother!"

And with that, Cinderella climbed into the coach, and departed for the royal ball.

At the palace, the guests were arriving by the dozens, it seemed. The King was pleased with the turn out.

"This was a great idea," he said. "Just look at all these girls arriving! My son is _sure _to find at least _one_ of them attractive! Where is he, anyway?"

The King looked all around the ballroom, until he spotted Prince Charming at the other end of the room. He was sitting on his throne, sleeping. The King wasn't amused.

"Duke!" he shouted, "Get over here!"

"Yes, your majesty?" the Grand Duke asked, coming over.

"My son is asleep," the King said. "Go wake him up!"

"Right away, sire," the Duke said. He walked around the room, until he came to Yippee.

"Hey, Yippee," he said. "The prince is asleep. King says to wake him up, pronto."

"Yes, sir, your Duke-ship, sir!" Yippee shouted, saluting. Then he ran over to Yappee.

"Yappee, the prince is asleep," he said. "The King's orders are to wake him up."

"Got it," Yappee said. He took off running, and stopped when he reached Yahooey.

"Hey, Yahooey!" he shouted. "The Prince is asleep. Go wake him up! King's orders!"

"Right," Yahooey said, saluting. Then he turned to delegate the order to someone else.

"Hey you . . . . ." he started, before he realized there wasn't anyone left to delegate the order to! "Oh yeah. That is right. I am the last one!"

Realizing this, Yahooey walked over to where Prince Charming was sleeping.

"Excuse me, your highness," he said. "But I have an urgent message from your father, his majesty, the King."

"Oh yeah?" Prince Charming asked, yawning. "What's that?"

"WAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUPPPPP!" Yahooey screamed, as loud as he possibly could, right in the prince's ear. That definitely woke him up, all right!

"Thanks, man," he said, sarcastically, while he cleaned out his ear. "I didn't need that!"

"What are you doing sleeping like that, anyway?!" the King shouted, as he stormed over. "How do you expect to meet any girls if you're fast asleep?!"

"I can't help it, Pop," Prince Charming said. "I hate these royal balls! They're so boring! Especially when you're trying to play matchmaker!"

Prince Charming stood up, and started to leave the ballroom. He'd had enough of this already.

"Now where are you going?!" the King demanded. "The party hasn't even got started yet!"

"I need some air," Prince Charming said, and he headed for the balcony as fast as he could. The King sighed, and started back towards the guests.

"He must get this from his mother's side of the family," he grumbled.

Outside Prince Charming was outside on the balcony, he heaved a sigh of relief. He was glad to be out of that ballroom, that was for sure. He leaned against the balcony's railing, when a friend of his (literally), dropped in. It was the Ugly Duckling (_Yakky Doodle_).

"Hiya, Prince," the Ugly Duckling said.

"Hey, Ug," Prince Charming said. "Nice of you to drop in."

"What's going on inside?" the Ugly Duckling asked, looking at the doors. "It looks like a big party going on."

"Yeah, it's a royal ball my dad set up for me."

"Sounds like fun. But how come you're out here, and not inside?"

"Are you kidding? Pop only threw this royal shindig because he's trying to get me married and moved out of the castle! If you ask me, this is just a waste of time!"

"Maybe not. You might meet somebody."

"Yeah right. What does my dad expect to happen? That the girl of my dreams will just suddenly show up at the door?"

Right after Prince Charming said that, a coach pulled up to the castle doors. The footman opened the door to the coach, and out stepped Cinderella. Prince Charming took one look at her, and was dumbstruck.

"See ya later, Ug!" he shouted, dashing for the balcony doors. "I gotta get back to the party! The girl of my dreams just showed up at the door!"

Prince Charming raced back into the ballroom, and looked around the room.

"About time to got back in!" the King shouted. "The first dance is about to start, and I want you to . . . ."

"Later, Pop!" Prince Charming shouted, taking off across the room.

"Huh," the Duke said. "What's the matter with him?"

"Beats me," the King said. "I just don't understand that boy. Why can't he . . . . ."

"Wait a minute, sire," the Duke said. "Look!"

The King looked to where the Duke was pointing. There he saw Prince Charming and a girl by the doorway. Prince Charming bowed, the girl curtsied, and the two of them went directly to the dance floor, and began dancing the minute the music started.

"He's . . . . . he's dancing," the King said, like he didn't believe it. "He's actually out there dancing. With a girl, yet."

"Yeah," the Duke said. "Sure looks like it."

"WHOOOOPEEEEEE!" the King cheered at the top of his voice. "I knew this would work! What a brilliant idea I had!"

The Duke merely rolled his eyes. Of course, this whole royal ball was _his_ idea, but he knew he couldn't say so, or else the King would probably have his head lopped off.

Though not everyone was happy about the circumstances. All the other girls at the ball were green with envy, especially Cinderella's stepsisters, but they didn't even recognize her (which may have been a good thing). Cinderella's stepmother was fuming.

"One of you get out there and cut in!" she shouted. "Go sweep the prince right off his feet!"

"I don't know, Mama," Fatima said.

"Just get out there and do it!" the Stepmother yelled. "Remember, if one of you marries the prince, we'll be rich!"

Once the music stopped, everyone left the dance floor for a break. That was when Fatima made her move. She cornered the prince at the punch bowl.

"May I have the next dance, your highness?" she asked, batting her eyes.

"Eeehhhh . . . . ." Prince Charming said, backing away. "Sorry, your fatness. But I promised the next dance to someone else."

And with that, the prince cut out, leaving Fatima there, a little bewildered. Then it was Leena's turn. Just as the music started, she grabbed Prince Charming by the arm.

"Come on, Princey!" she shouted. "Let's dance!"

Before Prince Charming had a chance to object, he found himself dancing with Leena, though that was definitely not a walk in the park. Leena may have been skinnier than a beanpole, but her feet were enormous, and she was a terrible dancer. Every other step, she wound up stomping on the prince's feet.

"Ouch!" Prince Charming shouted, just as Leena took a step. "Listen, I think maybe we oughta forget this. My feet can't take it!"

That being said, Prince Charming limped over to the throne, sat down, took off his shoe, and massaged his foot. Once his foot stopped throbbing, he went to find Cinderella, and the two of them began tripping the light fantastic once again.

"Rats," Leena said, and she trudged off the dance floor.

"You two make me sick!" the Stepmother shouted.

"Forget it, Mama," Leena said.

"Yeah," Fatima replied. "He's hooked on that other girl, anyway."

"Well, I'm not through yet!" the Stepmother shouted. "I'm getting my hands on the king's money if it's the last thing I do!"

Throughout the rest of the night, Cinderella had every dance with Prince Charming. It was like a dream come true. Cinderella was having the time of her life dancing the night away, until the clock in the tower began to chime. Quickly, Cinderella glanced at it, and saw that it was midnight.

"Oh dear!" she cried.

"What's wrong?" Prince Charming asked.

"It's midnight! I have to go!"

"You have to go? Why?"

"If I don't leave by the stroke of midnight, my coach will turn into a pumpkin?"

"Your coach will turn into a _what_?!"

"Eennngghh . . . . goodbye!"

And with that, Cinderella took off running. Prince Charming dashed right after her.

"Wait!" he called. "Come back! Don't leave yet! I don't even know your name!"

But Cinderella couldn't stop. She didn't want to have the prince see her ball gown transform back into rags. And she knew she had to hurry. As she ran, she passed Yahooey, who just watched her go.

"Bye, lady!" he called, waving.

"Yahooey!" Prince Charming shouted, as he reached the guard's post. "Don't just stand there, go after her!"

"Oh, right," Yahooey said, and he started running after Cinderella. "Hey lady! Oh lady! Oh lady!"

Cinderella knew she couldn't stop for anything. She was so intent on getting out of there, she didn't even notice she ran right out of one of her glass slippers. Yahooey saw this, picked up the slipper, and began running after her again.

"Hey lady! Oh lady!" he shouted. "You dropped your shoe!"

"Give me that!" Prince Charming shouted, grabbing the glass slipper out of Yahooey's hand.

"What's goin' on out here?" the Duke asked as he, Yippee, and Yappee ran outside. They wanted to see what the commotion was about.

"It's my dream girl," the prince said. "She's getting away!"

"Yippee, Yappee, hurry up and close the gates!" the Duke shouted.

"Right away, your Duke-ness, sir!" Yippee shouted.

Yippee and Yappee ran up to the mechanism that opened and closed the gates, and began turning the wheels so the gates would close. Cinderella had just gotten into her coach, and it had taken off like a shot. The horses ran for the gates as fast as they could, as they were closing. They made it out of the palace right before the gates closed.

"Oh no," the Duke groaned. "Open the gates, you idiots! Open the gates!"

"I wish he'd make up his mind," Yappee said, as he and Yippee started turning the wheel the other way.

"Get after her, you guys!" Prince Charming shouted. "Hurry, before she gets away!"

The fivesome raced out of the gates as fast as they could, but there was absolutely no way in the world they could catch up with that coach.

"It's too late, your highness," Yappee said. "She's gone."

"Maybe," Prince Charming said. "But at least we have a clue how to find her. Come on!"

And with that, Prince Charming, the Duke, and the Goofy Guards raced back into the ballroom, and told the King what had happened.

"You lost her?!" the King shouted, then he smacked his son upside the head. "What's the _matter_ with you?!"

"Hey, Pop, take it easy!" Prince Charming shouted. "I may have lost her, but I know how to find her."

"How?"

"She left one of her shoes behind. All I have to do is find the girl who fits this glass slipper. And that's the girl I'm gonna marry."

"Good theory, your highness," the Duke said. "But it's not practical. I mean, do you realize how many girls would be able to wear that shoe?"

"Oh, keep quiet!" the King shouted, smacking the Duke in the arm. "You say you're gonna marry the girl that fits that shoe? Well, I'm gonna hold you to it! The first girl you find that fits that slipper, you're going to marry, you got that?"

"Yeah, I got it, I got it," the prince said. "See you later, Pop!"

"Now where are you going?" the King asked.

"To start the search!" Prince Charming said. "No time like the present!"

"If I may make a suggestion, your princely-ness," Yippee said. "Maybe you ought to wait until daybreak."

"He's got a point there, kiddo," the Duke said. "Not a lot of people will appreciate someone knockin' on their door at one o'clock in the mornin'."

"All right, all right, I'll wait," Prince Charming said. "Sheesh."

With that, Prince Charming left the throne room, and walked outside. He stood on the palace steps and looked at the glass slipper.

"This is gonna be a cinch," he said. "This is gonna wind up fitting the girl I danced with tonight. After all, this is a fairy tale. And all fairy tales like these are the same. There's only one person who'll fit the glass slipper. It's in the bag."

"It certainly is, Princey!" a voice shouted.

Before Prince Charming had a chance to react, a burlap bag was thrown over him. The perpetrator was none other than Cinderella's stepmother. She tied the sack closed, and slung it over her shoulder.

"I knew that body building and weight lifting course would come in handy some day," she said. "Come on, girls! Let's get going!"

The Stepmother, Fatima, and Leena laughed as they raced to their carriage, and took off in it. However, their actions did not go unnoticed. The Duke and the Goofy Guards had come out of the palace just in time to see the Stepmother throw the sack over the prince.

"Hey, the king's son is being prince-napped!" Yahooey shouted.

"Well, don't just stand there, gapin' you guys!" the Duke shouted. "Go after him!"

"Right!" Yippee shouted. "Yippee!"

"Yappee!" Yappee shouted.

"Yahoo-ee-ee-ey!" Yahooey shouted, and the guards took off. And, as always, they would up crashing into the wall.

WHAM!

"I'm tradin' you guys in," the Duke sighed.

Luckily, the Ugly Duckling had seen the whole thing, and decided to take action.

"I'd better go after that mean old lady myself!" he shouted. He began flying after the carriage, but then stopped when he realized something.

"Wait a minute!" he shouted. "I can't stop them by myself. I'm just a little bitty duck. I'd better get some help. I know! I'll go find my friends, Pixie and Dixie! They'll help me for sure!"

And with that, the Ugly Duckling flapped his little wings, and flew to find his mice friends as fast as he could.


	4. Worth a Prince's Ransom

The Ugly Duckling arrived at the house where he knew Pixie and Dixie lived, but no one was around.

"Gosh," he said. "It doesn't look like anyone's here. I'll just sit here and wait until someone comes."

The Ugly Duckling flew up to the window sill and sat there. Moments later, a coach appeared in the distance, and it looked like it was heading for the house. The minute it arrived, there was a flash of sparkles, and the coach turned into a pumpkin. Sitting on the pumpkin was a girl dressed in rags, wearing one glass slipper. There was also a horse, a dog, and two mice nearby as well. It was Cinderella, Pixie, and Dixie.

"Hey, I know you!" the Ugly Duckling shouted, once he saw the coach change. "You're the girl that danced with my friend, Prince Charming!"

"Hey, it's the Ugly Duckling!" Pixie shouted. "What are you doing here, Ug?"

"I was at the palace when the prince came outside," the Ugly Duckling explained. "Suddenly, this mean old lady threw a bag over him and ran off with two really ugly girls!"

"Two really ugly girls?" Dixie repeated. "Was one tall and skinny with enormous feet?"

"And the other short and fat?" Pixie asked.

"Yeah, that's right," the Ugly Duckling said.

"Those were my stepmother and my stepsisters!" Cinderella shouted. "My stepmother really wants one of my stepsisters to marry the prince!"

"We'd better go after them!" Pixie shouted.

"In the middle of the night?" Cinderella asked.

"Unless you want Prince Charming to marry one of your ugly stepsisters," Dixie pointed out.

"Let me get a flashlight," Cinderella said, as she ran inside the house.

Meanwhile, the Stepmother and the stepsisters had arrived at their destination. It was a large manor that once belonged to the Stepmother's first husband, the Lord of Briand. They had it named "Chateau Briand." It had been abandoned for quite some time, since the Lord of Briand's death, and the Stepmother married Cinderella's father.

Once inside, the Stepmother dropped the sack on the floor, and opened it. Prince Charming took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.

"Man, it's about time!" he shouted. "It was getting hard to breathe in there!"

"Sorry, Princey," the Stepmother said. "But desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Yeah, I kinda figured," Prince Charming said, eyeing Fatima and Leena, nervously. "Eeesh . . . . ."

"Listen, Princey," the Stepmother said, "I'll make a deal with you. You marry one of my lovely daughters . . . . ."

Prince Charming once more looked over at Fatima and Leena. The girls were both giggling, and batting their eyelashes at him. The prince made a face at the thought of marrying one of them!

". . . . or I'll lock you up in the tower," the Stepmother continued. "What's it gonna be?"

"Well . . . . ." Prince Charming said. "Given the choice . . . . . which way to the tower?"

"What?!" the Stepmother shouted. "You mean to tell me you'd rather be locked in a tower than marry one of my lovely daughters?!"

"That's about the size of it, lady," Prince Charming said, folding his arms across his chest. "I've seen a lot of homely chicks in my life, but _these_ two take the cake! Eee-_eeeesh_!"

"But your highness," Fatima said, as she batted her eyelashes, "don't you think we're pretty?"

"Yeah, sure," Prince Charming said. "Pretty ugly! I don't know which of you is uglier! You or your sister! And your mother wouldn't win any beauty contests, herself!"

"That does it!" the Stepmother shouted. She grabbed Prince Charming's arm, and practically dragged him down the hall, and up several flights of stairs. Then she threw him into a room at the top of the staircase, slammed the door, and locked it.

"There," she said. "I'll give you some time to think it over, Princey! I'm not gonna let you out unless you agree to marry one of my daughters!"

"Yeeeccchhhh!" Prince Charming shouted.

The Stepmother ignored him, and stormed back down the stairs, fuming.

"What now, Mama?" Leena asked.

"I don't think he's gonna marry either of us," Fatima said.

"That's obvious," the Stepmother said. "But I'm not licked yet. I'll get my hands on the King's money one way or another. We're now moving to Plan B!"

"What's Plan B?" Leena asked.

The Stepmother didn't say a word. She picked up the phone, and dialed.

"Hello?" she asked. "Is this the Twenty-Four Hour Yankee Doodle Carrier Pigeon Service? I need a message delivered right away!"

No sooner had the Stepmother had said that, Yankee Doodle Pigeon flew into the house via window, and blew on his trumpet to announce his arrival.

"What took you so long?" the Stepmother asked, hanging up the phone. "Never mind! I need you to deliver an important message to the King."

The Stepmother pulled a pen and a piece of paper out of a desk, and began scribbling a note on it. When she was finished, she folded it, sealed it in an envelope, and handed it to Yankee Doodle Pigeon.

"Now go deliver this to the King," the Stepmother said.

Yankee Doodle Pigeon put the envelope in his mailbag, and flew off. The Stepmother rubbed her hands together greedily. Fatima and Leena just stared at her and shrugged.

At the King's castle, the King was giving his guards a good chewing out over what happened.

"You three are the worse guards I have!" he shouted. "First you let the one girl that my son showed any interest in get away, and then you practically let him get kidnapped! What do you have to say about that?!"

"We're sorry, your majesty," the Goofy Guards said in unison.

"Not like you're going to be!" the King shouted.

Suddenly, a trumpet blast was heard, and Yankee Doodle Pigeon flew through an open window, and landed on the armrest of the King's throne. He bowed to the King, and took an envelope out of his mail bag.

"Oh thanks," the King said, opening the envelope. "Dear King, if you want your stubborn, tasteless, charmless, wouldn't-know-a-beautiful-girl-if-he-fell-over-one , royal pain, spoiled brat of a son back, then give me half of the royal treasury. Love and kisses, signed a friend."

"How shocking!" Yippee shouted.

"Yeah," Yappee said. "I didn't even know the King _had_ any friends!"

"Well, guards, this is your chance to redeem yourselves!" the King shouted. "You go and do something about this!"

"Right away, your majesty!" Yahooey shouted, and he started to leave the throne room.

"Where are you goin'?" the Duke asked.

"To the royal treasury to divide the King's fortune in half," Yahooey said.

"He didn't mean for you guys to pay the ransom, you knucklehead!" the Duke shouted, frustratedly, and he bopped Yahooey on the head with his fist.

"Of course not!" the King shouted. "I want you to go out there, find the prince, and bring him back! That's what you guards are _supposed_ to do! It's in your job description!"

"The job description says we're supposed to rescue princesses and fair damsels in distress," Yippee pointed out. "It doesn't say anything in there about rescuing princes in distress."

"Yeah, what kind of reward would be included in that?" Yahooey said.

"Okay, you guys want a reward, I'll give you a reward," the King said. "If you succeed, I _won't_ throw you into the Royal Dungeon for the rest of your lives!"

"Love to stay and chat, your majesty, sir!" Yippee shouted. "But we've got a prince in distress to rescue! Yippee!"

"Yappee!" Yappee shouted.

"Yahoo-ee-ee-ey!" Yahooey shouted, and the three of them took off, crashing right through the wall on their way out.

"_Why_ do you keep those guys hangin' around?" the Duke asked.

"I'm beginning to wonder that myself," the King answered.


	5. Cinderella and the Three Bears

Prince Charming sat by the window of the tower, took the glass slipper out of his pocket, and sighed.

"I'll never find the girl who fits this slipper if I'm stuck in this tower," he said. "It'll take a miracle to get me out of here!"

Suddenly, a star in the sky began to glow, and it looked like it was getting bigger. The prince just stared at it, as a strange glow filled the entire tower room. When the glow subsided, a blond girl wearing a sparkly blue dress (_my OC Phyllis Dawson_) was standing in the room. She had wings and was carrying a wand.

"Who are you?" Prince Charming asked.

"I'm the Blue Fairy," the girl said. "I'm here to help you. You want to get out of here and find the girl that fits that glass slipper you have, don't you?"

"Yeah, I want to get out of here, but how did you know . . . . ."

"Blue Fairies know these things, sugar. Especially when people wish upon a star."

"I get it. I think. But what are we gonna do about the Lee sisters down there and their mother?"

"The Lee sisters?"

"Yeah, Ug Lee, and Home Lee."

"Oh. I'll take care of them, don't worry about that."

The Blue Fairy then waved her wand, and particles of magic dust sparkled everywhere in the room. When they cleared, it looked like nothing had happened.

"Okay, open the door," the Blue Fairy said.

"But it's locked," Prince Charming said.

"Just try opening it."

Prince Charming shrugged, and opened the door, finding that it was unlocked. Just as he opened it, the Stepmother and the stepsisters came running up the stairs.

"What's going on here?!" the Stepmother demanded. Then she saw the Blue Fairy. "And who's Little Miss Sparkles, here?"

"I see what you meant when you called those two the Lee sisters," the Blue Fairy said, looking at Fatima and Leena. "And their mother certainly isn't Miss America herself!"

"All right, sister, you're asking for it!" the Stepmother said, rolling up her sleeves.

"Ho hum," the Blue Fairy said, and she began waving her wand. "Eye of newt and tongue of dog, now you'll change into a frog!"

And in a puff of smoke, the Stepmother and stepsisters transformed into frogs. Then they hopped off, croaking all the way.

"Wow," Prince Charming said, as he started running down the stairs. "When that spell wears off, I'm sure they'll be _hopping_ mad. Ha, ha!"

The Blue Fairy groaned at that awful pun, and followed Prince Charming out of the chateau.

"Thanks for getting me out of that mess, Blue Fairy," the prince said. "Could you do me one more favor?"

"What's that?" the Blue Fairy asked.

"Think maybe you could tell me who's shoe this is?"

"Sorry, your highness, I can't. If I did, there'd be no story. You'll have to find out for yourself."

"That figures."

"I've done all I can here. I have to be going now. I've got to see about a puppet who wants to become a real boy."

And with that, the Blue Fairy waved her magic wand, and disappeared in a cloud of magic sparkles. Prince Charming sighed, and started walking through the forest.

"Might as well get started," he said.

Cinderella, Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling weren't faring too much better themselves. They had spent nearly all night searching for the Stepmother and the stepsisters, and by the time dawn broke, they had no idea which way they were going.

"Maybe you should've followed Cinderella's stepmother before you came to get us," Dixie said. "Then you would have known where to go."

"I'm sorry," the Ugly Duckling said. "I didn't think of that."

"Come on, you guys," Cinderella said. "I have an idea. Maybe if we go back to the King's castle, the Ugly Duckling might be able to figure out where to go from there."

The animals had to agree with Cinderella in that regard, and they kept going, even though none of them knew exactly where they were going.

Elsewhere in the woods, there was a cottage. Inside the house lived three bears. A Papa Bear (_Yogi Bear_), a Mama Bear (_Cindy Bear_), and a Baby Bear (_Boo-Boo Bear_). That morning, the Papa Bear and the Baby Bear were sitting at the table, while Mama Bear was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Boy, oh boy," the Papa Bear said. "I can't wait for breakfast! I'm as hungry as a bear!"

"But you _are_ a bear, Yogi . . . . . I mean, Papa," Baby Bear said.

"Don't worry," Mama Bear said, coming into the dining room with three bowls. She set a big one in front of Papa Bear, a medium sized one in front of herself, and a little one in front of Baby Bear. Papa Bear just stared at the bowl, dipped a spoon in, and stirred it.

"What is this slop?" he asked.

"It's porridge," Mama Bear explained.

"Porridge? Yuck!" Papa Bear shouted. "What happened to some good ol' pancakes and sausage? Or maybe even some bacon and eggs? But porridge? Shee! Why porridge?"

"Because it's in the script, silly!" Mama Bear shouted, picking up a script, and shoving it into Papa Bear's face.

"All right, all right, I get the message," Papa Bear said. Then he put a spoonful of the porridge in his mouth (reluctantly), and swallowed. The minute he did, his eyes popped, his face turned red, and steam came whistling out of his ears.

"Yeeeeoooowwwwwww!" he screamed, as a flame shot out of his mouth!

"What's the matter?" Baby Bear asked.

"Thith thuff ith too hot!" Papa Bear shouted, fanning his tongue with his hands.

"I've got an idea," Baby Bear said. "Why don't we all go take a walk in the woods? When we get back, our porridge should be cool enough to eat."

"Why would we wanna go take a walk in the woods?" Papa Bear asked.

"I dunno, it's in the script," Baby Bear said, shrugging.

"Maybe it's a good idea after all," Papa Bear said. "Maybe there'll be some pic-a-nic baskets full of goodies that need to be sorted out. Then I won't have to eat that porridge. Yuck!"

With that, the three bears left their home for a walk in the woods (though Mama Bear stifled the urge to swat Papa Bear upside the head with her rolling pin before they left). Shortly afterward, who should come by the house but Cinderella, Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling.

"Hey, look!" the Ugly Duckling shouted. "There's a house up ahead!"

"Maybe whoever lives there can give us directions," Cinderella said. She ran up to the front door and knocked, but there was no answer. The door was unlocked, so Cinderella slowly opened it.

"Hello?" she asked, looking around. "Is anybody home?"

Cinderella didn't get a response. Pixie and Dixie ran inside, and began to look around.

"Doesn't look like anyone's here, Cinderella," Pixie said.

"But they left some food!" Dixie shouted. "I'm starving!"

"Maybe we shouldn't eat it," the Ugly Duckling said.

"I'm sure having a little bit won't do any harm," Cinderella said, walking up to the Papa Bear's big bowl of porridge. She dipped her spoon in and tasted it.

"Ooooh!" she shouted, immediately dropping the spoon on the table. "This is much too hot!"

"Try the next one," Pixie said. Cinderella picked up another spoon, and tasted Mama Bear's porridge.

"Ick! she grimaced. "This one's much too cold!"

"Third time's the charm, Cinderella," Dixie said. "Try this one."

"I hate to think what this is going to taste like," Cinderella said, dipping her spoon into the Baby Bear's bowl.

"Hmmm . . . . ." she murmured after she tasted it. "This is just right! Not too hot, not too cold . . . . . it's perfect!"

"Let us have some, Cinderella!" Pixie shouted. "We're hungry!"

And with that, Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling, and the two mice ate up every bit of Baby Bear's porridge. Then the group went into the living room, and found three chairs. Cinderella was grateful for that, considering she had been on her feet for the entire day before. She needed a good rest. First, she tried the Papa Bear's chair, but it was too hard. Then she tried the Mama Bear's chair, but it was too soft. Then she sat down in the Baby Bear's chair, and it was just right. Unfortunately, the wee little chair couldn't support Cinderella's weight, and it broke.

"Whoops," Cinderella said, standing up, and looking at the pieces. "I guess we'll have to wait for the owners of the house to come back, and then I'll help them fix this chair."

"Think maybe we could take a nap while we wait?" the Ugly Duckling asked.

"Yeah," Dixie said, yawning. "I'm sleepy!"

"So am I," Pixie said.

Cinderella was completely exhausted herself, so the foursome went upstairs to the bedroom, and found three beds. The Papa Bear's bed was too hard, and the Mama Bear's bed was too soft, but the Baby Bear's bed was just right, and Cinderella and her friends immediately fell sound asleep.

Later, the Three Bears returned to their home, and found the door open.

"Did you remember to lock the door?" Mama Bear asked.

"No," Papa Bear said. "I thought you locked it!"

"Come on," Baby Bear said. "We'd better check this out."

The Three Bears entered the house, and slowly looked around. The first thing they spotted was the kitchen table.

"Hey," Papa Bear said, picking up his spoon from the table, which had some porridge on it. "Somebody's been eating my porridge! And let me tell ya something. They'd be welcome to it!"

"Somebody's been eating my porridge as well," Mama Bear said, picking her spoon out of her bowl.

"Somebody's been eating my porridge," Baby Bear said, holding his empty bowl. "And they didn't even leave any left!"

The Three Bears then went into the living room, and saw their chairs, and it was obvious someone had been using them.

"Somebody's been sitting in my chair," Papa Bear said, as he noticed the chair had been pushed back from where it usually was.

"Somebody's been sitting in my chair, too," Mama Bear said, as she picked up the somewhat squashed chair cushion and began fluffing it up.

"And somebody's been sitting in my chair," Baby Bear said, picking up a piece of his chair. "And they broke it."

The Three Bears then went upstairs to the bedroom. The Papa Bear walked over to his bed, and saw that it was a bit messed up.

"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed," he said.

"And somebody's been sleeping in my bed," Mama Bear said.

"And somebody's been sleeping in my bed," Baby Bear said. "And here she is, still sleeping in my bed!"

The Three Bears gathered around Baby Bear's bed, and just stared at the blond stranger. Cinderella began waking up, and the first thing she saw was Papa Bear standing over her.

"Eeeeek!" she screamed. "A bear!"

"You were maybe expecting the Easter Bunny?" Papa Bear asked.

Cinderella immediately grabbed a broom from the corner and began whacking Papa Bear over the head with it as hard as she could.

"Ouch!" Papa Bear shouted. "Oooch! Eeech! All right, already! Ouch! Cut it out! Yeeouch! Wait a minute! Oooch! Hold it! Hold it!"

Finally, Papa Bear managed to grab the broom away from Cinderella, and he tossed it aside.

"HOLD IT WHEN I HOLLER HOLD IT!" he screamed at the top of his voice. "Shee! That's gonna leave a mark. Okay, let's have some answers here. Goldilocks, I presume?"

"Goldilocks?" Cinderella asked. "No, my name's Cinderella."

"Cinderella?" Papa Bear said. "Shee, I think _some_one's in the wrong story!"

"How come you broke into our house, Cinderella?" Baby Bear asked.

"I'm sorry," Cinderella said. "The door was open, so my friends and I came in. We were hungry and tired . . . . . and, well, one thing led to another, and . . . . ."

"I see," Mama Bear said. "But what are you doing here, anyway?"

"I'm trying to find Prince Charming," Cinderella said. "And then we got lost in the woods."

"Yeah," Dixie said, as he and Pixie climbed up on Cinderella's shoulders. "She's gotta find him before one of her ugly stepsisters ends up marrying him!"

"Can you tell us the way to the King's castle?" Pixie asked.

"Sure," Papa Bear said. "First you go about a mile down this path, then you hang a right at the first corner, then a left, and another left, and a right, and then straight ahead, and another right, then a left, then a right, then a left, then a right, a left, a right, a left, and a right, and you're right there."

"Are you sure?" Pixie asked.

"Of course I'm sure!" the Papa Bear shouted. "After all, I'm smarter than the average Papa Bear! Hey-hey-hey-eee!"

"Thanks, Mr. Bear!" the Ugly Duckling shouted. "Come on, everybody!"

"Goodbye, Mr. Bear!" Cinderella called to the Three Bears as she and her friends left down the path.

"Now then," Papa Bear said. "How about some breakfast? I'm starving!"


	6. Hansel and Gretel

Prince Charming had been walking through the woods all night, trying to figure out which was the way back to the castle.

"Maybe I should've asked the Blue Fairy for directions," he said. "These woods look alike to me."

Prince Charming just continued walking, figuring he was going around in circles. Finally, he stopped and sat down on a tree stump, exhausted.

"Boy, am I beat!" he shouted. He pulled off one of his boots, and began massaging his foot. "Not to mention starving. I wonder if there are any fruit trees in these woods?"

Prince Charming sat there for a moment and looked around. Most of them were just pine trees, and the only thing growing on them were needles and pinecones.

"I wonder if pinecones are edible?" the prince asked, picking one up off the ground. He stared at it for several minutes, and then tossed it over his shoulder.

"Nah," he said. "I'd better not attempt eating the foliage around here. I don't know what's poisonous and what isn't!"

Prince Charming sighed, stood up, and continued on his way. As he was walking, he heard something in the distance.

"Breadcrumbs?!" a female voice shouted. "That was your idea to get us back home?! Leaving a trail of _bread_crumbs?! Boy, that idea is really for the birds!"

"It was the only thing I could grab before we left home, sis!" a male voice argued.

"Let's go for a walk in the woods, you said. We'll leave a trail to follow back so we don't get lost, you said. Why do I even put up with you in the first place?! I don't care if you _are_ my brother, I am _never_ listening to you again!"

"Hey!" Prince Charming shouted, walking over to a teenage boy and girl (_Multi Man, and my OC Windy Mills, respectively. Note, Windy is Multi's older sister_).

"Who are you?" the boy asked.

"I'm Prince Charming," the prince said. "I heard you two fighting, so . . . . ."

"Prince _Charm_ing!" the girl shouted, shoving her brother out of the way. Then she curtsied.

"I am but your humble servant, my liege," she said.

"Oh brother," the boy groaned.

"Uhh, please, you don't have to do that," Prince Charming said. "I can't stand groveling. Anyway, who are you two?"

"I'm Hansel, and that's my sister, Gretel," the boy said.

"We were walking around in the woods and we got lost," Gretel said. "No thanks to my idiot brother!"

"I said I was sorry!" Hansel shouted at his sister. Then he turned to Prince Charming. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing in these woods, anyway, your highness?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story," Prince Charming said. "Sit down and get comfortable."

Prince Charming, Hansel, and Gretel sat down, and the prince explained to them what he was doing in the woods.

"So now I'm trying to find the girl that fits this glass slipper," he said, finishing up. "I don't know her name, so I'm gonna have a heck of a time trying to find her."

"Think I could try it on?" Gretel asked.

"I don't know," Prince Charming said. "The girl I was dancing with was a blond. Not a brunette."

"Oh please, your highness!" Gretel begged. "Please? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please with sugar on top? Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please with . . . ."

"All right, already, all right!" Prince Charming shouted. "You can try on the slipper, just stop with the 'pretty, pretty, please' bit already, sheesh!"

Gretel sat down on a nearby tree stump and took off her shoe. The prince tried to slip the glass slipper on Gretel's foot, but Gretel's foot was too long to fit the shoe. Gretel tried to jam her foot into it, but she only ended up squashing her toes, and she wasn't able to get her heel into it at all.

"Sorry," Prince Charming said, shrugging. "It's not gonna work."

"Darn it," Gretel sighed.

"Anyway," Prince Charming asked. "I don't suppose you two know how to get out of here, huh?"

"If we did, we wouldn't be standing here, now would we?" Gretel asked.

"Well, maybe if we keep walking, we'll find someone who can give us directions," Hansel said.

Gretel and Prince Charming agreed, and the three of them continued walking through the woods. They had been walking for hours, when they finally saw something in the distance.

"Look over there!" Hansel shouted. "It looks like a house!"

"Not just any kind of house!" Gretel shouted. "It's a gingerbread house!"

"Great!" Prince Charming shouted. "I'm starving! Let's go!"

The three of them ran toward the gingerbread house as fast as they could, and began pulling pieces off the house and eating them. As they were snacking, the door opened, and out peeked none other than Witch Hazel, of _Looney Tunes_ fame.

"Nibble, nibble like a mouse, who's that nibbling at my house?" she chanted.

"Nobody here but us mice!" Prince Charming shouted.

Witch Hazel didn't believe that, and she came out of her house to see what was going on. There she found Hansel, Gretel, and Prince Charming gnawing at her gingerbread house like they were termites. The three teenagers stopped the minute they saw the witch standing there.

"Why, you poor children!" she shouted. "You must be starving! Come on into my house, and I'll give you candy, and ice cream, and pickled herring, and sweet and sour upside down cake, and hard boiled all day suckers."

"Well . . . ." Hansel said.

"I don't know . . . . ." Gretel replied.

"Yeah, lady," Prince Charming said. "What's the catch?"

"There's no catch, silly boy!" Witch Hazel shouted with a laugh. "Now, let's go eat the goodies, the goodies, the goodies, let's to eat the goodies, tra-la-la-la-la-la!"

"What do you guys think?" Hansel asked.

"I don't know about you," Gretel said, "but I'm not about to skip a free meal! I'm starving!"

The boys agreed, and the trio went inside the gingerbread house with Witch Hazel. As soon as they were inside, Witch Hazel, as promised, began serving the three teenagers more food than they had ever seen in their lives. And the more they ate, the more Witch Hazel served.

"That's right, kiddies," Witch Hazel said. "Eat it all up. I just love children with healthy appetites!"

"I've got news for you, sister," Prince Charming said. "We're not children. We're teenagers."

"Same difference," Witch Hazel said, shrugging. "It doesn't really matter to me."

And with that, Witch Hazel left the room, cackling a bit. Hansel, Gretel, and Prince Charming just looked at each other, shrugged, and went back to their feast. By the time night fell, the trio was exhausted. Witch Hazel walked into the room with more food, smiling.

"Anyone for roast leg of griffin?" she asked.

"No thanks," Hansel said.

"Yeah, we're full," Gretel replied.

"Oh, you poor children!" Witch Hazel shouted. "You must be tired! Why don't you stay here for the night?"

"No, we really couldn't impose," Hansel said.

"Yeah, I've really got to get going," Prince Charming said.

"Nonsense!" Witch Hazel shouted. "It's already dark, and you'll never be able to find your way around the woods in the dark!"

"Well . . . . ." Gretel said. "We really don't want to wear out our welcome, and . . . ."

"I INSIST!" Witch Hazel shouted. As she shouted that, thunder crashed and lightning flashed outside.

"Well . . . . ." Prince Charming said, gulping. "If you insist . . . . ."

"Wonderful!" Witch Hazel shouted. "I'm looking forward to having you for breakfast tomorrow! Eee-hee-hee-hee-heeeee!"

Witch Hazel led Prince Charming, Hansel, and Gretel to a bedroom, and all three of them immediately fell asleep. Witch Hazel cackled, and rubbed her hands together.

"Now I can get started on _my_ feast!" she shouted. "Though I may have to fatten up the redhead a little more. But if I cook him and the dark-haired one at the same time, that'll make up for it, I'm sure."

During the night, Witch Hazel moved Prince Charming and Hansel to a cage, and locked them in. The boys weren't aware of this until the next morning, when they woke up.

"Boy, I had the craziest dream last night!" Prince Charming shouted.

"Oh yeah?" Hansel asked.

"Yeah, man! The lady that lives here threw the two of us in a cage, and she's planning on cooking us!"

"That's a really weird dream, all right," Hansel said.

"Hey, fellas," Gretel said, walking over to her brother and the prince. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that _wasn't_ a dream."

"Huh?" Prince Charming asked. It was then that he and Hansel noticed they were inside a cage.

"Hey, what's going on?!" Hansel shouted.

"Very simple," Witch Hazel replied, walking into the room. "I found you two boys to be just so cute, I could eat you up. So I will! Eeee-hee-hee-hee-heeeee!"

"You wouldn't want to eat me," Hansel said. "I'm nothing but skin and bones!"

"Oh I'm sure you've got some meat on you," Witch Hazel said. "Hence why I'm gonna cook both of you boys at the same time! That'll make up for it!"

"Oooohhhh boy . . . . ." Prince Charming said, nervously.

"Now then," Witch Hazel said, turning to Gretel. "As for you, girlie, you go out and get me some firewood. And be quick about it!"

"Y-y-y-yes ma'am!" Gretel shouted, and she ran out of the front door as fast as she could.

Once Gretel gathered the firewood, Witch Hazel ordered her to put it in her oven, and light it. After Gretel lit it, Witch Hazel grabbed a cookbook, and began to leaf through it, while her oven pre-heated.

"How are we going to get out of here?" Hansel asked.

"Maybe I can find the key," Gretel said.

"No way," Prince Charming said. "She's wearing it on her wrist. She'll notice if you try to take it."

"I have an idea," Hansel said. "All I need is a hair pin!"

"Don't look at me," Prince Charming said.

"Me neither," Gretel said. "I don't have one on me. But maybe she does."

"How are you gonna get one?" Prince Charming asked. "Just go up to her and ask, hey lady, just out of curiosity, do you happen to have a hair pin on you?"

Gretel shrugged. It was about all she could do, except watch the witch.

Witch Hazel continued to look through her cookbook until she found a recipe she thought looked good.

"Ahhhh, I haven't had this dish in a long time!" she sighed. "Let me see, roast three children in oven at three hundred degrees for one hour . . . . . hmmmm . . . . ."

Witch Hazel looked over at Gretel, smiled, and cackled under her breath. Then she ran over, leaving behind a bunch of hair pins, which spun around a little, and finally fell on the floor.

"All right, girlie!" she shouted. "I want you to help me get these two boys into that oven!"

"You've got to be kidding!" Gretel shouted, eyeing the hair pins.

"What do you mean?" Witch Hazel asked.

"You'll never be able to get Hansel and the prince into that small oven. They're too tall to fit in there!"

"Nonsense! They'd fit in there easily! My oven's big enough for them! It's big enough for even _me_ to fit in there!"

"I'm not convinced. Let's see you fit in there first."

"All right, I will!"

Witch Hazel opened her oven door, and climbed in. She actually _did_ fit, but it was a bit snug.

"Now she oughta know better than that," Gretel said, and she slammed the oven door shut.

"Hey, what the hex . . . . ." Witch Hazel shouted. "Ooohhhh, you little . . . . . wait until I get out of here!"

Unfortunately, Witch Hazel was stuck in the oven. Gretel grabbed a hair pin from the floor, ran to the cage, and gave it to Hansel. Hansel immediately stuck it into the lock of the cage, and began maneuvering it, until the lock opened.

"Got it!" he shouted.

"Since when do you know how to pick locks?" Gretel asked.

"Since I found your diary," Hansel said.

"You . . . . . you little . . . . ." Gretel started, about ready to pummel Hansel.

"I hate to break up this moment of brotherly-sisterly love," Prince Charming said, "but I suggest we get outta here before the witch manages to get out of that oven!"

Hansel and Gretel agreed, and the three teenagers raced out of the gingerbread house as fast as they could. The minute they got outside, they heard a loud explosion from the house.

KA-BOOOOOM!

Prince Charming, Hansel, and Gretel turned to look, and they saw the house flying up into the air, until it disappeared. They waited for it to come back down, but it never did.

"I guess that's the last of her, huh?" Prince Charming asked.

"Looks like it," Hansel said. "Come on, we'd better get out of here."

And with that, Hansel, Gretel, and Prince Charming continued down the path they had been on before they arrived at Witch Hazel's gingerbread house. After a few hours of walking, the trio approached a fork in the road. On the left, there was a river bank.

"Hey, guys, look!" Gretel shouted, excitedly. "I know this river! If we follow it, we'll surely find our way back home!"

"Great idea, sis!" Hansel shouted. "Are you coming with us, your highness?"

"Nah," Prince Charming said. "I've got my dream girl to find."

"Well, good luck," Hansel said.

"Yeah, happy hunting!" Gretel called, as the prince began walking down the path to the right.

"Bye!" Prince Charming called to both Hansel and Gretel, as they followed the path to the left. Once they were out of sight, the prince pulled the glass slipper out of his pocket.

"This is gonna be a lot easier said than done," he sighed.


	7. Little Red Riding Hood

Cinderella, Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling were once again wandering through the woods, but none of them had any idea where they were going, thanks to Papa Bear's directions.

"I think we're supposed to hang a left here," Pixie said. "Or was it a right?"

"I don't remember," Dixie said. "I think we're lost again!"

"I think you're right," Cinderella sighed. "We'll never get anywhere at this rate!"

"We need to find someone who can help us," the Ugly Duckling said.

The foursome continued along the path they were on. As they were walking, they heard someone coming down the path, from the opposite direction.

"I think somebody's coming," the Ugly Duckling said.

Sure enough, he was right. Coming toward them was a girl with red hair in a ponytail, wearing a red hood and cape, and carrying a basket (_my OC, Shawn Smith_).

"Hi," she said, when she reached our heroes. "Who are you?"

"I'm Cinderella, and these are my friends, Pixie and Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling," Cinderella said. "Who are you?"

"I'm Little Red Riding Hood," the girl in the red cape replied. "I'm on my way to my grandmother's house. What are you doing here in the woods?"

"It's a long story," Cinderella sighed, and she began to tell her tale, while she, Pixie, Dixie, the Ugly Duckling, and Red Riding Hood walked down the path.

"So after we left the Three Bears' house, we got lost again," Cinderella finished up.

"Hmmm," Red Riding Hood said, thoughtfully. "I have an idea. Why don't you come with me to my grandmother's house? Maybe she'll be able to help you guys out."

"Great idea!" Pixie shouted.

"Yeah," Dixie agreed. "We could use all the help we can get!"

And with that, the quintet began walking down the path. Unbeknownst to them, however, they were being watched. Hiding behind a bush was none other than the Big Bad Wolf. He watched the girls, and licked his lips.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is that Little Red Riding Hood?" he asked. "That blond looks pretty good, too. Probably on their way to Red's grandma's house."

The Big Bad Wolf ducked behind the bush again, and ran down a path. He knew a short cut so he could head the girls off at the pass. Thanks to the short cut, he got there before them at a fork in the road, and waited for them.

"Here they come," he said, as Cinderella and Red Riding Hood came walking up the path.

"Good morning, girls," he said. "Where are you off to this fine day?"

"Visiting my grandmother," Red Riding Hood said. "What are you doing here?"

"Just taking a walk through the woods," the wolf said. "Hey, listen, if you're visiting your grandma, why dontcha bring her some flowers? If I were visiting my grandma, I'd bring her flowers."

"That's a good idea," Cinderella said.

"Yeah, my grandmother loves flowers," Red Riding Hood replied.

"And I know a field near here that's loaded with 'em," the Big Bad Wolf said. "You go straight down the path on the left. You can't miss 'em."

"Thanks, Mr. Wolf!" Red Riding Hood called, as she, Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling, Pixie, and Dixie went down the path to the left.

"Now to take the shortcut to Grandma's," the Big Bad Wolf said, once the girls were gone.

The Big Bad Wolf found the shortcut to Red Riding Hood's grandmother's house easily (after all, he knew every shortcut there was in that woods), and reached it in record time. When he arrived, he saw a note on the door.

"Dear Red, gone to the drag races," he read. "I've left the door open for you so you don't have to wait outside. Love, Granny. Perfect! The old lady ain't even home, and the door's unlocked!"

The Big Bad Wolf took the note, crumpled it up, and threw it over his shoulder. Then he flung the door open, ran into Granny's room, put on her nightgown and nightcap, and dove into her bed. Now all he had to do was wait for Red Riding Hood to come.

About half an hour later, Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling arrived at Granny's house.

"This is it," Red Riding Hood said, knocking on the door.

"I hope she's home," Cinderella said.

"Who iiiiiiiiis iiiiiiit?" a sing-song voice came from inside.

"Granny?" Red Riding Hood asked, sounding a little confused. "It's me, Little Red Riding Hood. What's the matter with your voice?"

"I've got a terrible cold, dear," the wolf said.

Red Riding Hood shrugged at Cinderella, and opened the door. The girls, the Ugly Duckling, and the two mice walked inside, and gasped at what they saw.

"Granny?!" Red Riding Hood shouted incredulously.

"That's your grandmother?" Pixie asked.

"Wow, that cold must've hit her pretty hard!" Dixie shouted.

"Yeah," Pixie agreed. "Sheesh!"

"Boy, Granny, you really don't look at all well," Red Riding Hood said, coming over to her "grandmother."

"Well, I've been sick," the Big Bad Wolf replied.

"Why Granny!" Red Riding Hood gasped. "What big eyes you have!"

"All the better to see you with, my dear."

"And what big ears you have!"

"All the better to hear you with, my dear."

"And Granny! What a big mouth you have!"

"All the better to _eat_ you with, my dear!"

With a growl, the Big Bad Wolf sprang out of bed, and jumped at the two girls. The girls screamed and immediately began running. The wolf chased the girls into the kitchen, and thought he had them cornered, when Red Riding Hood grabbed a frying pan off the kitchen stove, and gave the wolf a good whack in the head with it.

_CLANG!_

"Eeeeyooowww!" the Big Bad Wolf cried.

"Take _that_!" Cinderella shouted, giving the wolf a whack with a nearby broom.

"And _that_!" Red Riding Hood shouted, whacking the wolf with the frying pan again.

The girls continued whacking at the wolf with their makeshift weapons, which he was not enjoying. Even Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling got into the act. They found an iron, and carried it into the kitchen.

"Ready, everybody?" Pixie asked.

"I'm ready," the Ugly Duckling said.

"All set," Dixie said.

"Okay, on the count of three," Pixie said. "One, two, three!"

With that, the Ugly Duckling and the two mice threw the iron, and it landed right on the Big Bad Wolf's foot.

"Yoooowwwwww!" he screamed, and received another whallop to the head with the frying pan.

"Hey!" the Big Bad Wolf shouted. "Hey, hold it a minute! HOLD IT A MINUTE!"

With that, Red Riding Hood and Cinderella stopped hitting the wolf, and looked at him.

"Whatever happened to the good old fashioned girls, who screamed and ran away?!" the Big Bad Wolf shouted.

"Get with it, man!" Red Riding Hood shouted. "Those days are over!"

"I was afraid of that," the wolf said, as Red Riding Hood gave him another whack to the head.

While all this was going on, a motorcycle pulled up to the house. It was Red Riding Hood's grandmother, and her dog (_Granny Sweet and Precious Pupp_), returning from the drag races.

"Land sakes, what's all that noise inside?" Granny asked. Her dog began growling, and then raced inside as fast as he could. He zoomed into the kitchen, and gave the Big Bad Wolf a good chomp right in the hindquarters.

"YeeoooOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!" the Big Bad Wolf screamed, just as Granny ran into the kitchen.

"Oh, good heavens!" she gasped. "The Big Bad Wolf! I'd better call the authorities immediately!"

After Granny made the phone call, a woodsman (_Ranger Smith_) arrived shortly afterward. By that time, the Big Bad Wolf was beaten black and blue.

"I'll take it from here, ladies," the woodsman said. He walked over to the Big Bad Wolf, and put a pair of handcuffs on him.

"You're under arrest for breaking and entering, aggravated assault, and impersonating grandmothers without a license!" he shouted.

"Good!" the Big Bad Wolf shouted. "Take me away! Put me in a nice, safe jail cell, away from those two crazy dames!"

And with that, the woodsman led the Big Bad Wolf away.

"Anyway," Red Riding Hood said. "Granny, this is Cinderella. She's lost, and needs some help finding the palace."

"Oh, dear," Granny said. "I'm sorry, Cinderella, but I don't have any idea how to get to the palace myself."

"What do we do now?" Pixie asked.

"We'll never find my prince at this rate," Cinderella sighed.

"But I know how to get to town," Granny said. "Maybe someone in the village will know how to get to the palace. Grab a helmet and hop on the back of my motorcycle, dearie. I'll give you a lift!"

"Oh, thank you, ma'am!" Cinderella shouted, as Granny's dog tossed her a spare helmet.

"What are we waiting for?" Pixie asked, as he and the others went outside to Granny's motorcycle.

"Goodbye, Red!" Cinderella called to Red Riding Hood as Granny revved up her motorcycle. "Thanks for the help!"

"You're welcome!" Red Hiding Hood shouted, waving back. "Good luck finding your prince!"

Granny then took off down the forest path at such a great rate of speed, she popped a wheelie. Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling had to hang on for dear life so they wouldn't fall off. But Cinderella was on cloud nine. She was at last on her way to find her prince.


	8. Jack and the Beanstalk

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just a reminder of something. If there are no parentheses after the name of the fairy tale character, that means that they were created especially for this story._

* * *

Elsewhere, Prince Charming had reached a small village outside of the woods, though the land didn't look very inviting. The ground was all dried up, and the plant life was withered and brown.

"Wow," Prince Charming said as he looked around. "What the heck happened here?"

Prince Charming walked down the road, looking at the farmland. Every single crop in the fields was dried up and dead. The prince had never seen more pathetic looking produce in his entire life. As he was walking, he came across a man, leading a cow down the path with a rope. He was humming a tune.

"Excuse me, sir!" Prince Charming shouted. "But, do you think you could tell me where . . . ."

"Get away from me, boy," he said, pushing the prince out of his way, and kept right on going. "You bother me."

The prince glared at the man, and continued walking. He reached a farm house, and this farm looked worse than the rest of the farms.

"Sheesh, this place looks worse than the rest of the village!" he shouted. He walked up to the house and was about to knock on the door when he heard something going on inside. He looked through a window and saw a short, chubby, blond-haired teenage boy (_Coil Man_) walk up to an older woman with frosted blond hair (_my OC, Martha Collins, who is Coiley's mother_).

"Jack, where have you been?" the woman asked. "Did you sell the cow?"

"Well . . . . . ." Jack said, nervously. "Not exactly, Mom."

"What do you mean not exactly?"

"See, what happened was this. I was on my way to the market, when I came across this man, and he said he'd trade the cow for some magic beans, and . . . . ."

"Magic beans? Oh _Jack_!"

Jack's mother slapped her hand over her eyes, groaned loudly, and leaned against a table.

"Jack, how?" she asked. "_How_ could you have believed a silly story like _that_? Don't you know there's no such thing as magic beans?"

"But Mom, he didn't give me a chance to . . . ." Jack started.

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" his mother shouted, angrily, as she tossed the handful of beans right out the window.

Prince Charming decided to break this up before things got ugly. He quickly knocked on the door. Jack's mother sighed, got up, and walked over to the door.

"Yes?" she asked, once she saw Prince Charming standing there.

"Excuse me, ma'am," the prince said. "I don't mean to intrude, but do you think maybe you could give me some directions? I'm kind of lost."

"I'll say you are!" Jack shouted, coming to the door. "What with those fancy clothes you're wearing!"

"Yeah, well," Prince Charming said, shrugging. "Anyway, I'm looking for the girl who's foot fits this glass slipper."

"Sorry, fella," Jack said. "There aren't many girls that pass by this way."

"I was afraid of that," Prince Charming sighed. "Oh well, thanks anyway. Guess I'd better start heading out of here if that's the case."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Jack's mother said. "There are quite a few highwaymen around here who come out at night just waiting for someone to come along."

"Yeah, you're sure to be a target looking like that," Jack replied.

"You're welcome to stay here for the night," Jack's mother said.

Prince Charming accepted the offer, and stepped inside. Once he was inside, Jack's mother began telling him about why the farm looked the way it did.

"Our kingdom didn't always look like this," she explained. "It's hard to believe that this place was once flourishing and green. The king and queen who live in a big castle on a hill near here kept it alive with a magic harp that was able to play itself. Then one day, a shadow fell over the land, and the next thing we knew, the harp was gone. My husband and I witnessed the whole thing. The shadow was a huge giant, who just seemed to come down out of the sky. My husband went after him to try to get the harp back, but he was no match for the giant."

"Dad wound up flatter than a pancake," Jack explained.

"Eeesh, what a way to go," Prince Charming said, with a grimace. "Squashed like a bug."

"After the harp was gone, things changed," Jack said. "The king and queen became depressed, and no longer cared what happened around here. Then came the drought. Mom and I managed to get by for awhile, though, since we had a cow who was the best milking cow in the entire village, but then she just dried up one day."

"Became an _udder_ failure, huh?" Prince Charming asked.

"Yeah," Jack said, as he and his mother both rolled their eyes at that bad pun. "Anyway, Mom sent me to the market this morning to sell the cow . . . . ."

"And all he brought home was a handful of beans," Jack's mother said.

"The person who sold them to me said they were magic beans," Jack said, shrugging. "And basically that's where you came in."

"Now tell us," Jack's mother said. "What are you doing here in our neck of the woods?"

"Well, it all started when my father threw this royal ball trying to get me married," Prince Charming said, and told Jack and his mother his story.

"So now I'm trying to find this girl," he concluded. "Either that or get back to my dad's castle, whichever comes first."

"Well, I don't know how to get to your dad's kingdom from ours," Jack said. "Sorry, your highness."

"That's okay," Prince Charming said. "I'm sure I'll get there eventually. And I'm sure I'll find my dream girl eventually, too."

That being said, Jack, his mother, and the prince decided to call it a day, and it _had_ been a rather long day for all three of them. But what they didn't know was that the next day was going to be even longer. When Jack's mother threw the beans out the window, they had landed in a small hole in the backyard. During the night, when a beam from the full moon hit the hole, the beans begin to grow, and they kept right on growing until it reached the sky.

Early the next morning, Jack woke up, and looked out the window. The first thing he saw was the giant beanstalk.

"I must be dreaming!" he shouted.

"What's the matter?" Prince Charming asked, walking into the room. He looked out the window, and saw the beanstalk himself.

"Never mind, that answers my question," he said.

"This is the biggest beanstalk I've ever seen in my entire life," Jack said.

"Giant sized, that's for sure," Prince Charming said. "What's your mother going to say when she sees _this_?!"

"I don't know," Jack said. "But I don't want to be around when she does!"

"Wait a minute, I just had a thought. You and your mom told me that a giant seemed to come down from out of the sky and stole that harp, right?"

"Yeah?"

"And this beanstalk goes all the way back up to the sky, right?"

"Yeah . . . . . I get it. We go up the beanstalk and get the harp back."

"You got it. Come on, let's get going."

Immediately, the two boys ran outside, and began climbing the beanstalk. It took awhile, but they managed to make it to the top of the stalk, and found themselves standing in front of a huge castle. When they saw it, they just stood there, dumbstruck.

"Wow," Jack said.

"You can say that again," Prince Charming replied. "This definitely puts my dad's place to shame, I'll tell ya that!"

Jack and the prince then walked toward the castle, and found that getting inside the castle was going to be easier than they thought. All they had to do was crawl underneath the crack in the door. Once inside, they saw a huge table, and on it was a harp.

"That's it," Jack said. "But the question is how are we gonna get it down."

Before Prince Charming could answer, the boys heard booming footsteps coming. They were so loud, the boys were knocked off their feet. A door opened, and in came a giant (_Peter Potamus_).

"Well, look what crawled out of the wood work!" he shouted, scooping up the two boys with his hand. "Termites!"

"Hey, who're you calling a termite, you big ox?!" Prince Charming shouted.

"Mouthy termites, yet," the giant said. "There's only one way to deal with termites."

The giant put Jack and Prince Charming down on the table, and pulled out a fly swatter. Jack and the prince knew what was coming immediately.

"Let's get outta here!" Prince Charming shouted.

"Good idea!" Jack shouted. The boys took off just as the fly swatter hit the table.

"Hey!" the giant shouted. "Come back here!"

The giant began chasing the boys around his castle, swatting at them with his fly swatter. The boys were having a heck of a time trying to avoid being swatted, or even stepped on.

"We can't keep this up forever!" Prince Charming shouted. "We need to find a hiding place!"

"Over there!" Jack shouted, pointing up ahead to a mouse hole in the wall. The boys dashed inside, while the giant dove for them, but only managed to crash right into the wall.

WHAM!

The giant groaned, stood up, and walked toward his table.

"Smart aleck termites," he mumbled. Then he picked up the harp and plucked a couple of strings on it.

"Okay, harp," he said. "Start playing!"

The harp began to play, all by itself. Prince Charming and Jack peeked out of the mouse hole, and watched.

"This isn't gonna be easy," the prince said. "How are we gonna get the harp with that giant sitting there?"

"I don't know," Jack said.

Jack and the prince stood in the mouse hole and watched as the harp played it's music and the giant listened. About an hour into the harp's concert, however, the giant began to grow drowsy.

"Hey, Jack, dig this!" the prince shouted. "Looks like he's falling asleep."

"Now's our chance!" Jack shouted.

The boys quietly snuck over to the table, just as the giant fell asleep, snoring loudly. They climbed up the table leg, snuck over to the harp, picked it up, and began to make their get away. Unfortunately, the harp had other ideas.

"Save me! Save me!" it shouted. "I'm being stolen!"

And wouldn't you know it, that was enough to wake up the giant.

"Rat fink harp," Prince Charming muttered under his breath.

"Let's go!" Jack shouted, and he and Prince Charming took off with the harp in tow.

"All right, you pests!" the giant shouted, getting up. "You come back here with my harp!"

The boys ran out of the castle as fast as they could, with the giant hot on their heels, chasing them right to the beanstalk. The boys immediately began climbing down, but to their surprise, so did the giant!

"I can't believe he's actually following us!" Prince Charming shouted. "We'd better move faster!"

"Easy for you to say!" Jack shouted. "You're not the one lugging a heavy harp down a beanstalk!"

"You're not exactly light as a feather yourself, buster!" the harp shouted.

"If there's one thing I can't stand," Jack mumbled, "it's a smart aleck harp."

But the boys continued down, passing each other the harp back and forth on the way. Luckily, they managed to reach the bottom of the beanstalk way before the giant. Once they reached the ground, they were met by Jack's mother.

"Jack, what in the world is going on?!" she shouted.

"I'll explain later, Mom!" Jack shouted. "I need the axe!"

"There's one over there," Prince Charming said, pointing to a tree stump with an axe embedded in it.

Jack ran over to the stump, grabbed the axe, raced back to the beanstalk, and began chopping as fast as he possibly could, until it was ready to fall over.

"TIIIIIIIMBEEERRRRR!" he shouted, as he, his mother, and Prince Charming stood to one side as the beanstalk started to fall.

"Hey, what the . . . . ." the giant said, just as the beanstalk toppled. "Yeeeeaaa_aaaaaAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!_"

CRASH!

The giant hit the ground with such force, Jack, his mother, and Prince Charming were knocked off their feet, and the giant also made quite a large hole in the ground. He dazedly got up out of it, but he was seeing stars and birds around his head.

"Anybody got a aspirin?" he asked, before falling flat on his back again.

"Serves him right for stealing the kingdom's harp," Jack's mother said.

"Come on, let's return it to the palace!" Jack shouted.

Jack, his mother, and Prince Charming loaded the harp onto a cart, and pulled it down the road to the castle. The townspeople saw them with the harp and began cheering. They were greeted by the king and queen themselves when they reached the palace.

"You've brought back the magic harp!" the king shouted. "Now my kingdom will be prosperous once more! How can we ever thank you?"

"Well . . . ." Jack started, but he was interrupted by the sound of giant footsteps approaching. It was the giant coming toward the castle.

"Now wait just one minute!" he shouted, picking up Jack in his hand. "I have a bone to pick with you! You chopped down the beanstalk, and I don't have a way to get back home!"

"Well, I'm sorry," Jack said, shrugging. "But it was the only way we could get the harp back."

"Besides," Prince Charming said. "Why do you want that harp, anyway?"

"I happen to like harp music!" the giant shouted. "You can't get any harp music up where I live!"

"But we _need_ the harp!" Jack shouted. "Without it, our kingdom will become a desolate wasteland!"

"It will?" the giant asked. "Well, gee, I didn't realize _that_ would happen."

"Did you also realize you killed my dad when he tried to get it back?"

"That was your dad? I thought he was a cockroach. I'm awful sorry about that. I didn't know. Anyway, I can find a new place to live, but how am I gonna get my harp music?"

"I have an idea. If you promise not to steal anymore, you can come back here to the kingdom and listen to the harp whenever you want."

"It's a deal!"

Everyone cheered, and the harp immediately began playing in celebration.

"I guess it's true when they say music soothes the savage beast," Prince Charming said. "Now that we've got the happy ending settled here, I've got to be going. I've still got my dream girl to find."

"Good luck, your highness!" Jack called out, as the prince made his way down the path.

"Thanks!" Prince Charming called back. "I think I'm gonna need it."


	9. Rumplestiltskin

Granny pulled her motorcycle up to the curb, and let Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling, and the two mice hop off.

"Thanks for the lift, Granny!" Pixie shouted.

"You're welcome," Granny said. "Good luck finding your prince, dear. And do send us a wedding invitation! I just love weddings."

"You bet, Granny!" Cinderella called, waving as Granny started her motorcycle, and zoomed off back to her cottage in the woods.

"She's a nice lady," Pixie said.

"Yeah," Dixie agreed. "But we've got important work to do now."

"Right," Cinderella said, and she and her friends walked down the street.

For about an hour, the foursome went around town, asking people if they knew how to get to the King's palace. Unfortunately, nobody knew. They didn't even know what they were talking about! It wasn't until they came to a sign in the middle of the road that read, "You Are Now Entering The Duchy of Dastardly."

"How do you like that?" Dixie asked. "We're not even in a kingdom!"

"We must've gotten turned around while we were in the woods," Cinderella sighed.

"What are we going to do now, Cinderella?" the Ugly Duckling asked.

"I don't know," Cinderella said, sitting on a rock next to the sign. "I'll never find Prince Charming at this rate."

"Did I hear you say you were looking for Prince Charming?" a voice from behind the sign asked. Startled, Cinderella immediately jumped to her feet, and looked around.

"Who said that?" she asked.

"I did, of course," a wolf said, coming out from behind the post (_Hokey Wolf, to be precise_).

"Who are you?" Dixie asked.

"Are you another Big Bad Wolf?" the Ugly Duckling asked.

"Me?" the wolf asked. "A Big Bad Wolf? Perish the thought! My card, madam."

The wolf whipped a card out from out of thin air, and handed it to Cinderella.

"Rumplestiltskin," Cinderella read. "Dream Maker. Have Dreams, Will Travel."

"That's right, little lady!" Rumplestiltskin shouted, taking his card back. "I can make all your fondest dreams come true! Now then, you're looking for a prince charming, am I right?"

"Yes," Cinderella said. "You see, what happened was . . . . ."

"Say no more, lady, say no more! Come with me, and I'll see to it that you'll get a prince charming! For a nominal fee, of course. Just sign here."

Rumplestiltskin whipped a contract and a feather pen out of think air, and handed them to Cinderella. Cinderella and her friends read through it, but it was kind of hard to read, especially at the bottom.

"I can't read the fine print," Pixie said.

"Anybody got a magnifying glass?" Dixie asked.

"Just a minor formality," Rumplestiltskin said. "It doesn't mean a thing. It's a standard contract, you understand. Makes everything legal. Come on, honey, just sign on the dotted line . . . . ."

"Well, I don't know . . . . ." Cinderella said, hesitantly.

"You want to find your prince charming, or don't you, sister?" Rumplestiltskin asked.

"Yes, but . . . ."

"Then just give me your John Hancock on the contract. I haven't got all day, you know."

Thinking she had nothing to lose, Cinderella signed the contract. The minute she did, it rolled itself up, and Rumplestiltskin grabbed it.

"Wonderful, wonderful!" he shouted, pressing the two ends of the rolled up contract together, causing it to disappear. "Now, just follow me, and we'll be on our way to your prince charming!"

Cinderella and her friends followed Rumplestiltskin to a large manor on the edge of town. They walked through the gates, into the manor, and down a large hallway. They came to the end of the hall, and Rumplestiltskin knocked on the door.

"Mr. Rumplestiltskin, what are we doing here?" the Ugly Duckling asked.

"Before I can get Cindy to Prince Charming," Rumplestiltskin explained, "I have a little business with the Duke of Dastardly to do first."

"Enter!" a voice shouted from behind the door.

Our heroes and Rumplestiltskin entered the room once the door opened. There was a throne in the room, and sitting on it was the Duke of Dastardly, with his sidekick, Sir Muttley (_Dick Dastardly and Muttley_).

"Your lordship, sir," Rumplestiltskin said, bowing. "I have fulfilled your request, for I have found you a girl who can spin straw into gold thread!"

"I can _what_?!" Cinderella shouted, giving Rumplestiltskin a weird look.

"I repeat, this girl, Cinderella, can spin straw into gold thread," Rumplestiltskin said.

"Excellent," the Duke of Dastardly said. "And as promised, Mr. Rumplestiltskin, I'll pay your fee, but on one condition."

"And what might that be, my lord?" Rumplestiltskin asked.

"I want this girl to spin a room full of gold," the Duke of Dastardly said.

"Deal," Rumplestiltskin said.

"But . . . . but I can't . . . ." Cinderella started.

"Shhh!" Rumplestiltskin hissed. "What's the matter with you? You wanna blow the whole thing?"

"But I _can't_ spin straw into gold thread!" Cinderella hissed right back, so the Duke of Dastardly wouldn't hear her.

"Don't worry, don't worry!" Rumplestiltskin said. "Let me handle everything."

"Anything wrong?" the Duke of Dastardly asked.

"No, no, no," Rumplestiltskin said. "No problem at all, sir. Now if you'll excuse me, I have another appointment."

And with that, Rumplestiltskin waved his hand, and seemingly vanished into thin air. Cinderella just stood there. She had no idea what to do now.

"Well, don't just stand there gaping!" the Duke of Dastardly shouted. "Follow me. I have a room all ready and waiting for you."

Sir Muttley snickered wheezily as the Duke of Dastardly stood up, and lead Cinderella and her friends to a tower that was filled with straw. In the center of the tower room was a spinning wheel.

"Now then," the Duke of Dastardly said, "here's the straw. I expect you to spin it into gold by morning."

"But . . . . but sir, I . . . ." Cinderella started.

"Of course, if you _don't_," the Duke of Dastardly said, "then I'll have to lock you away in my dungeon forever!"

"But sire, I . . . ." Cinderella started to say again, but she was again cut off by the Duke of Dastardly.

"Well, happy spinning, kid!" he shouted.

"Snazza razzen frazzen, so long!" Sir Muttley shouted, and he and his master ran out of the tower room, and slammed the door closed, snickering that wheezy snicker of his.

"That girl better come through," the duke said as he and Sir Muttley headed back to his throne room. "Especially since I'm spending my last dime on this investment! If she can spin straw into gold, it'll make me even richer than a king!"

"Snazza razzen frazzen, what about me?" Sir Muttley asked, poking the Duke of Dastardly, but the duke took no notice.

"I'll be rich I tell you!" he shouted, gleefully. "Rich, rich, rich!"

Sir Muttley didn't like the sound of this, and promptly bit into the duke's leg.

_CHOMP!_

"YEEOUCH!" the duke cried. "All right, Muttley, all right! _We'll_ be rich! Now let go of my leg!"

"Snazza razzen frazzen, that's better!" Sir Muttley shouted, and then he snickered.

Back in the tower room, Cinderella, Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling were trying to figure out how to spin the straw into gold thread. And they knew it wasn't going to be easy!

"See if you can wrap the straw around the spindle, Cinderella," Pixie said.

"And Pixie and I will spin it," Dixie said. "Right, Pixie?"

"Right, Dixie," Pixie said, and he and Dixie immediately climbed on top of the wheel, and began running so the wheel would turn. Cinderella tried to wrap the straw around the spindle, but it wouldn't work.

"I'll never figure this out," Cinderella said. "I don't know how to use a spinning wheel, and I certainly _can't_ make gold from straw, even if I _did_ know!"

And with that, Cinderella buried her face in her hands and began to cry. Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling just stood there, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly, there was a puff of smoke, and who should appear but Rumplestiltskin.

"Hiya, toots," he said. "I'm back. Did you miss me?"

"_Miss_ you?!" Pixie shouted. "You're the one that got her into this mess in the first place!"

"I tried to tell you, I don't know how to spin straw into gold," Cinderella said.

"Not to worry, little lady," Rumplestiltskin said. "For I, Rumplestiltskin, know how to spin straw into gold, and I am willing to do the task for you!"

"You are?" Cinderella asked. "Great!"

"Not so fast there, missy," Rumplestiltskin said. "I'm not giving away my talents for free, you know."

"But I don't have any money."

"That happens to be a nice little necklace you're wearing."

Cinderella had forgotten she was wearing a locket around her neck. She held the pendant in her hand, and swallowed.

"I don't know," she said. "It used to be my mother's, and I'm not sure I can give it up."

"Would you rather give up a simple little locket, or your entire freedom for the rest of your life?" Rumplestiltskin asked. "Quickly, quickly! You have to make up your mind!"

Cinderella sighed, took off her locket, and handed it to Rumplestiltskin.

"Wonderful, wonderful," Rumplestiltskin said. "And now, it is time for me to get to work."

Rumplestiltskin snapped his fingers, and a smaller wolf (_Ding-A-Ling, Hokey Wolf's sidekick_) appeared.

"You called, boss?" he asked.

"Yeah," Rumplestiltskin said. "I got a job for ya. Start spinning this straw into gold. And be quick about it! You've only got twelve hours to do it!"

Immediately, the little wolf began spinning the spinning wheel, and, as if by magic, the straw floated out of the large pile, flew to the wheel, and turned into gold thread as the wolf spun it. Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling, Pixie, and Dixie just stood there and stared. None of them could believe it.

"How did he do it?" the Ugly Duckling asked.

"Trade secret, kid," Rumplestiltskin said. "Now then, Cinderella, I shall see you in the duke's throne room in a few hours. Good night."

And with that, Rumplestiltskin popped out of the room in a puff of smoke.

"Strange character," Dixie commented.

"You said it, Dixie," Pixie said, then he yawned, and stretched. "Well, what do you guys say we get some sleep?"

"Good idea," the Ugly Duckling said. "I'm tired!"

The others agreed, and fell asleep. At dawn, they were awakened by the sound of the door opening, and slamming into the wall. The Duke of Dastardly had entered, followed by Sir Muttley.

"All right, missy," he said. "Where's my . . . . ."

The Duke of Dastardly stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the gold thread piled high up to the ceiling.

"Here's your gold thread, your grace," Cinderella said, curtsying.

"I told ya she could spin straw into gold," Rumplestiltskin said, popping into the room with a puff of smoke. "Now how about my fee?"

"Yes, of course," the Duke of Dastardly said, handing Rumplestiltskin a small pouch. "What's a couple of pazzoozahs, after all, when I have millions worth in gold thread!"

"But you can't spend gold thread, your duke-ness," Dixie pointed out.

"Who asked you, you little runt?!" the Duke of Dastardly shouted, as he flicked Dixie off of Cinderella's shoulder.

"Well, now that I've been paid, my work here is done," Rumplestiltskin said.

"Wait a minute!" Cinderella shouted. "You said you'd help me find Prince Charming!"

"I already did," Rumplestiltskin said, counting the pazzoozahs. "You're lookin' at him."

"You mean the Duke of Dastardly?" Pixie asked.

"You got it, shorty," Rumplestiltskin said.

"But he's not my prince!" Cinderella shouted. "You promised you'd help me find my Prince Charming!"

"I promised I'd help you find _a_ prince charming," Rumplestiltskin said. "I didn't say it was going to be _your _prince charming."

"But he's not even a prince!" Dixie argued.

"A mere technicality," Rumplestiltskin said. "Besides, Cindy baby, you signed a contract, and the contract is legal and binding. You spun the straw into gold, now you get to marry the Duke of Dastardly. So long, kid."

And with that, Rumplestiltskin disappeared in his puff of smoke. Cinderella and her friends just stood there, not knowing what to say, or think. The Duke of Dastardly and Sir Muttley grabbed some of the gold thread, and started to take it out of the room.

"Come on, Muttley," he said. "Let's take this thread to the tailor. And as for you, Cinderella,take some of that gold thread, and come with us. We have a lot to do before the wedding."

The Duke of Dastardly began laughing, and Sir Muttley snickered. Cinderella picked up some of the thread, and followed them. It was about all she could do. Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling stayed behind, and watched Cinderella go.

"How are we going to get Cinderella out of this wedding?" Dixie asked.

"I don't know," Pixie said. "But we have to think of something!"


	10. A Hair-Raising Experience

Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling ran to the tailor shop, and arrived just in time to see the Duke of Dastardly give his instruction's to the tailor (_Huckleberry Hound_).

"Once you weave the thread into cloth," he said, "you are to make the finest wedding attire for myself and the future duchess here."

"Right away, your dukeship, sir," the tailor said, with a salute.

"Good," the Duke said, and he handed the tailor a piece of paper. "Here's an idea of what our attire should look like. I expect the designs to be followed exactly to the letter!"

"Yes, sir, your dukeship," the tailor said. He looked at the designs for the outfits, and cringed at the dress the Duke had in mind for Cinderella to wear. It featured long poofy sleeves, a large sash that tied in the back in a huge bow, a large ruffled collar that was similar to a court jester's, and a huge full length bell skirt with layers upon layers of ruffles and frills. Enough ruffles to rival the dress of an Azalea Trail Maid's.

"Uhhh . . . ." the tailor said, trying to choose his words carefully. "I'll do the best I can, your dukeship. But I don't know if . . . ."

"Details, details!" the duke shouted. "Just do it, or else! Come along, Muttley. We have things to attend to. I'll be back later, tailor, to check on your progress!"

"Yes, sir," the tailor said. Then he put the gold thread on a loom, and proceeded to weave it.

"Once I get this made into cloth," he said to Cinderella, "I'll take your measurements. I bet you're all excited about the upcoming wedding, aren't you?"

Cinderella then burst into tears, and buried her face in her hands. The tailor just nodded his head.

"Yeah," he said, sniffling slightly. "I always cry at weddings, too."

"That's not why she's crying, Mr. Tailor," the Ugly Duckling said, as he, Pixie, and Dixie arrived at the tailor's shop.

"Yeah," Pixie said. "She's crying because she doesn't want to marry the Duke of Dastardly!"

"He thinks Cinderella can spin straw into gold," Dixie said. "Rumplestiltskin really did the spinning, and then he left Cinderella in the lurch."

"And she's afraid of what's going to happen when the duke finds out," Pixie went on. "If he finds out she can't do it, then . . . . ."

"_Cchhhkkkkk_!" Dixie finished, making a slashing motion across his throat with his finger.

"And besides," the Ugly Duckling said. "Cinderella loves somebody else, anyway. Prince Charming. But Rumplestiltskin made Cinderella sign a contract, and . . . . ."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," the tailor said. "I'm getting a might lost here. Why don't you start from the beginning?"

And with that, Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling told the tailor Cinderella's tale right from the beginning. When they were finished, the tailor let out a whistle.

"Wow," he said. "That's some story."

"We're trying to figure out how to get her out of this," Pixie said. "But we can't think of any way to do it."

"I can't, either," Cinderella sniffled. "I just don't know what to do."

"Hmmm . . . . ." the tailor murmured, eyeing his measuring tape on his table. "I think I just might have a plan in mind. Y'all leave it to little ol' me."

Cinderella and her friends looked at each other and shrugged. The tailor then took the gold thread and continued to weave it, so he'd be able to work on Cinderella's wedding gown, for when the Duke of Dastardly came back. Shortly after the tailor was done with weaving the thread, the Duke of Dastardly returned.

"Well, tailor," he said. "How's it going?"

"It's going along right smoothly," the tailor said. "But I'm gonna have to take your measurements now for your wedding attire, sir. See, I need to know if I'll have enough of the gold material, and all."

"All right, all right, but make it snappy!" the Duke of Dastardly shouted.

"Will do, sire," the tailor said, taking his measuring tape. He began taking the duke's measurements, all the while wrapping him in the measuring tape, as quickly as possible, until the duke was completely wrapped up.

"What's the big idea, tailor?!" the duke shouted, thoroughly unamused.

"Uh huh," the tailor said, writing a note in his notepad. "Size six and seven eighths. Thank you very much, sire. Oh, by the way, I'll be needing my tape back."

The tailor grabbed one end of the tape measure and yanked it as hard as he could, unwinding the Duke of Dastardly. This caused the duke to spin around wildly, like a toy top.

"Muttley!" the duke shouted, as he spun around the shop like a mad tornado. "Do something!"

Before Sir Muttley could do anything about the duke's spin, the duke crashed into a nearby shelf, which fell, and the contents on the shelf toppled onto the duke, and then the shelf crashed on him as well. Upon seeing this, Sir Muttley snickered.

"Come on, Cinderella!" the tailor shouted, grabbing some of the gold cloth. "Let's get out of here before the duke comes to!"

"I'm for that!" Dixie agreed, and Cinderella and her friends followed the tailor out to the back entrance of his shop. They didn't stop running until they were far away from the duchy's city limits, and in the woods. Again.

"Wouldn't you know it?" Dixie asked. "We're stuck in the woods again!"

"At least we're away from the Duke of Dastardly," Pixie said.

"Thanks to the tailor," Cinderella said.

"Shuckens, I'm happy to help," the tailor said. "And I'll help you find your prince charming, too."

"Thanks," Cinderella said, stifling a yawn. "Oooh, am I ever sleepy!"

"Yeah, you've been up all night," Pixie said. "Why don't we all get some rest?"

The others agreed, and Cinderella made herself comfortable, and went to sleep. Dixie then noticed the tailor folding some of the gold cloth.

"Hey, you've got the cloth you were weaving," he said.

"Right," the tailor said.

"Think you can make something out of it?" Pixie asked. "Like maybe a new dress for Cinderella?"

"I hope you don't mean that gosh-awful wedding dress the Duke of Dastardly cooked up," the tailor said. "Eeee-yuck!"

"No, definitely not!" Pixie shouted. "But if Cinderella's going to meet up with Prince Charming . . . . ."

"She just _can't_ go around looking like a scullery maid!" Dixie shouted. "The prince will _never_ marry her!"

"I see what you mean," the tailor said. "And I _do_ have her measurements written in my notepad here, as well as some of my trusty supplies . . . . . tell you what, if you all help me, I'll do it, and I'll have it done by the time Cinderella wakes up."

"How can you do that?" the Ugly Duckling asked.

"I'm the fastest tailor in the world," the tailor said. "I make seven stitches with one stroke! Now come on, let's get to work!"

Elsewhere, Prince Charming was wandering through another forest outside of Jack's town. He was still on his mission to find the girl that fit the glass slipper, but he felt like he was getting farther and farther away from his goal. After walking in the woods for at least an hour and a half, he finally sat down on a tree stump.

"This is going nowhere," he sighed. He pulled off one of his boots, and began massaging his foot.

"Man, my feet are _killing_ me!" he shouted. "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'll never find that girl at this rate."

Just as Prince Charming stood up, he heard harp music coming from the distance. Immediately, he followed it down the path, and to it's source, which turned out to be a huge tower right there in the woods. The only entrance was a window, which was too far to reach.

"Wow," he said. "You'd have to be able to fly to get inside this place!"

Suddenly, the harp music stopped, and a blonde-haired girl wearing a pink dress and pink racing helmet (_Penelope Pitstop_) came to the window. She looked down, and saw Prince Charming standing at the bottom of her tower.

"Why, hello down there!" she called out. "What brings little ol' you to the tower?!"

"Was that you playing that harp a minute ago?!" Prince Charming called.

"Yes it was! Why don't you come on up and see little ol' me?! That way we won't have to shout at each other!"

"Fine with me, but how do I get up there?!"

"Why, you climb up my hair, silly!"

Prince Charming looked at the girl as if she were completely crazy.

"Climb up your _hair_?!" he shouted. "You gotta be kidding! I'll believe _that_ when I see it!"

It was just then an enormous mound of blonde hair came flying down at the prince. There was so much of it, it actually knocked him off his feet once it hit him. Prince Charming groaned, crawled out from under the hair, and immediately began climbing.

"I believe it," he said.

Prince Charming climbed up the girl's hair, and then into her window. The girl pulled in her hair, and then started brushing it.

"That's the trouble with all this hair," she said. "It takes forever to get it looking right."

"I can imagine," Prince Charming said. "Who are you, anyway?"

"My name's Rapunzel," the girl said. "Now who are _you_, and what are _you_ doing in my neck of the woods?"

"I'm Prince Charming, and I'm looking for the girl who fits this glass slipper. She ran off from a royal ball my dad was holding. Not to mention she had blonde hair. Kind of like you."

"Well, I know it wasn't me at the ball. I haven't left my little ol' tower in years!"

"Still, would you mind trying on the shoe? I mean, stranger things have happened."

Rapunzel shrugged, sat down in a chair, and took off her shoe. Prince Charming then tried the glass slipper on her foot, but it was too small.

"Darn it," he groaned. "Another dead end!"

"I'm sorry," Rapunzel said. "But I told you, I haven't left my little ol' tower in years."

"What are you doing in this tower, anyway, Rapunzel?"

"Oh, I've been up here since I was a little baby. I think my daddy wanted to keep me away from boys."

"Don't you get bored up here all by yourself?"

"Sometimes. I keep myself busy with books, and painting, and sewing, and brushing my hair . . . . . you just don't know how _long_ it takes to brush my hair!"

"Yeah. I can imagine that. Tell me something, don't you ever feel like getting out of this tower?"

"All the time! But I just don't know how."

"Well, why don't you just braid your hair, cut off the braid, and use it as a rope?"

Rapunzel stared at Prince Charming for several moments. Then she smiled.

"Now why didn't _I_ think of that?" she said. "Come on and help me braid. This could take a little ol' bit of time."

Prince Charming agreed, and he and Rapunzel got to work braiding Rapunzel's hair. She was right, though. It did take quite a bit of time to braid Rapunzel's hair, considering how long it was. It was practically an all-day project! Once they were finished, Prince Charming took a couple of rubber bands, and wrapped one around the end of Rapunzel's braid, and the other at the base of it. Then he took a pair of scissors off of Rapunzel's vanity, and cut the hair right above the top rubber band.

"Okay," he said, lowering the braid out the tower window. "Now, here's my idea. I'll hold our little makeshift rope here, and you climb down. Then, I'll tie the braid to something in the tower, like the bedpost or something, and then climb down myself."

"All right," Rapunzel said. "If you say so . . . . ."

Rapunzel climbed out onto the windowsill, grabbed the braid, and began to climb down, as slowly as possible. She was a little hesitant, considering the sides of the tower wall were a bit slippery. Too slippery for Rapunzel. As she was moving downward, she lost her footing.

"Eeek!" she shouted, as she fell, grabbing onto the braid. Unfortunately, Prince Charming lost his grip on it when Rapunzel started falling.

"Oh no!" he shouted.

However, as luck would have it, a knight happened to be riding by on a white charger. His name was Sir Peter of Perfect (_needless to say, portrayed by Peter Perfect, of "Wacky Races" fame_). As he passed the tower, Rapunzel fell directly into his lap.

"Ooof!" he shouted, as his horse jerked to a stop. "I say there, miss. Nice of you to drop in."

"Oh, my knight in shining armor!" Rapunzel shouted. She threw her arms around Sir Peter and gave him a big kiss. "Why, you saved my little ol' life! How can I ever repay you?"

"Well . . . . ." Sir Peter said, thoughtfully. "That was a start . . . . ."

Rapunzel giggled, and let go of the braid, as she and Sir Peter began to ride off into the sunset. Before they disappeared completely, Rapunzel turned back to the tower, and waved to Prince Charming.

"Thank you ever so much for getting me out of that little ol' tower, Prince Charming!" she called out.

"Yeah, sure, you're welcome!" Prince Charming shouted. "I'm glad at least _she_ had a happy ending. But there's still one problem left here. Without her hair, how the heck am _I_ supposed to get down from here?!"


End file.
